The Shops Are on Diagon (filk)

[Caius Marcius <coriolan_cmc@hotmail.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 49747

The Shops Are on Diagon (PS/SS, Chap. 5)

To the tune of The Heat is on in Saigon from the musical Miss Saigon

Hear a MIDI at:

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/shows/miss_saigon.html

Dedicated to Pippin

THE SCENE: Diagon Alley. HARRY, escorted by HAGRID, gets his first in-
depth look at the Wizarding World while shopping for school supplies

HARRY, HAGRID & CHORUS 
The shops are on Diagon
You simply tap on the wall
We'll get us Sickles, Knuts and Galleons
A new dimension I/you spy, my/ your attention enthralled
We're shopping on Diagon
Just look at all the cauldrons 
Potions, parchment, and quills

(Segue to a counter inside Gringotts. HAGRID confers with a Goblin to 
request access to two different vaults)

HAGRID
Ah, with this key there's no fault
Take us to young Harry's vault

GOBLIN
It seems to be A-OK
I'll have a cart appear 

HAGRID
This letter penned by Dumbledore 
Makes my mission clear 

CHORUS OF GOBLINS
Goblins call shots at Gringotts
Rob goblins and you'll get caught
Don't take what you've not earned
The penalties are severe

(Segue to Gringotts'  underground railway,  as HAGRID and HARRY are 
piloted by GRIPHOOK over the dizzying track)

GRIPHOOK 
Feel my cart rattle, it has just one speed

HAGRID (turning green)
This hairpin turning I don't really need
Can't we just wait till my illness recedes?

(HARRY finds his vault filled with gold and silver coins)

GRIPHOOK (to HARRY)
It's all yours, gold and silver a heap

HAGRID
You will not have to live cheap

HARRY
This would make the Dursleys weep

 (The cart spirals down to Vault 713)

GRIPHOOK
Goblins call shots at Gringotts
If on this vault you had tapped, then the price would be dear
Tonight if someone were trapped, they'd get out in ten years

(HAGRID  extracts a small grubby-looking package from the otherwise 
empty vault) 

HARRY  
Fabulous jewels aren't kept here in store
Just a plain package wrapped up on the floor
What is the riddle of these sorcerers?

HAGRID
Can't tell you, top-secret magic, Harry
You've now a pocket of cash
That's been retrieved from your stash

HARRY & HAGRID
We're shopping on Diagon
I/You used to always be broke, not a Knut to my/your name
Now, for new robes and a cloak, I/you shall be laying claim

(Segue to Madame Malkin's. HARRY meets DRACO as they are measured for 
their robes)

DRACO
I'm buying robes, I don't care what I pay
I want a new broomstick so that I can play
Though I'm a first-year I want things my way
And I know
The home where I'd like to be
It's Slyth'rin, my true family

HARRY (to himself)
Good gravy, who is he?

DRACO (seeing Hagrid standing outside)
That oaf has got no excuse
He's just a drunk in a hut setting fire to his bed
You say your parents are dead, but they're not Muggle refuse

(Segue to Flourish and Blotts. HARRY complains to HAGRID of his 
exchange with DRACO)

HARRY
There is no way that kid and I will get along
Didn't anyone ever teach him right from wrong?

BOOKSELLERS
Waffling, Jigger, Goshawk, and Bagshot
Gonna buy all your books here at Flourish and Blotts

HAGRID (selecting each book one at a time) 
Waffling, Jigger, Goshawk, Spore, and Bagshot

(Segue to the Apothecary, where HARRY shops for potion ingredients)

APOTHECARY MANAGER (spoken)
Attention, everyone
Bring together your hands
At the Apothecary
Happy Birthday to Harry!

HAGRID & CHORUS OF SHOPPERS (music)
The shops are on Diagon
Shoppers are out on the prowl
Soon the time will come to purchase your wand
But first to buy you an owl 

(Segue to Eeylops Owlery, as HARRY emerges with Hedwig)

HAGRID (spoken)
And now you own this snowy owl

ALL (spoken)
On to Chapter Six! 

    - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm