Ron, Harry and the Inner Censor

[pippin_999 <foxmoth@qnet.com>]

No: HPFGUIDX 50295

A lot of  recent debate seems to center on how Ron could have 
let himself say all those snarky things to Hermione in GoF. 
Shouldn't he know better? Most of us have an inner censor, after 
all. It's what keeps us from telling the boss to her face that she 
shouldn't wear puce. <g> 

I guess many people can't imagine saying  anything obvioiusly 
insulting without making a conscious decision to override that 
inner voice. To them, Ron sounds deliberately rude when he's 
talking about taking  trolls to the ball and idiotic when he brings 
up his wild theories about how Crouch disappeared from the  
Hogwarts grounds. *

Most of us regulate our speech this way without thinking about it. 
It seems instinctive, but it isn't, as anyone who's spent time with 
a two year-old can say. Out of the mouths of babes...

But I would guess that Ron's inner censor is comparatively 
undeveloped. At the Burrow, among the noisy, numerous  and 
above all outspoken Weasleys, it wasn't needed. Arthur and 
Molly both take back things they said, and nobody gets upset 
about it. The Twins sass their mother to their face, and she 
doesn't even react. And who pays attention to Ron anyway? It's 
not that Ron is disregarding that inner voice, it's that he's never 
been taught to listen for it. 

OTOH, Harry's inner censor works overtime. That's 
understandable, too. Among the Dursleys, he learned to plan 
every word as carefully as Ron plots his next set of moves in 
chess. But now Harry can't speak freely.  Even when he's with 
people he trusts, he can't help keeping things back. He lies, 
even to Hagrid and Hermione (and Ron.)

I think Hermione is the good example here. She's far more tactful 
than Ron, but she's far more outspoken than Harry. Still, it's likely 
that under stress we'll see both boys revert to their old patterns, 
both of which can hinder genuine communication. I think much 
of the Shipping debate is really about which of these patterns is 
worse to live with.

Penny said: 
<< JKR had an unhappy marriage with lots of "sparks" and 
arguments and tension. It ended badly. I'm not so sure that 
"tension and sparks" is really her cup of tea.>>

Do tell! I thought JKR refused to talk about the problems with her 
first marriage. Source, please?

Pippin

*I have to point out, in connection with this,  that Ron was 
unconscious when Snape shouted out his "YOU CAN'T 
APPARATE ..." etc. lines in PoA. Up until he asks Moody whether 
Crouch Disapparated, Ron has never heard this information 
confirmed by a teacher. As far as he knows, Hermione's 
information comes solely from Hogwarts, A History, as she 
constantly says, and she herself no longer believes everything 
she reads in it.