FILK: Handle With Care

[Amy Z]

No: HPFGUIDX 50748

Handle With Care

to the tune of the Traveling Wilburys song of the
same title (sorry, I cant find an audio link)

Dedicated to David


RITA SKEETER serenades several members of the Hogwarts
community.

RITA (to Harry, beckoning him toward a broom cupboard)

Come inside and shut the door
Journalists youll soon abhor
My ink is H2SO4
Handle me with care

(to Hagrid)

I say I find your Skrewts a blast
While I dig into your past
Nice "gi"s always finish last
Handle me with care

SLYTHERINS

Were so tired of Harry Potter
House Cup, Q Cup, Champion too
Take him down a peg, please, Rita dear

HERMIONE

Its a sin but I just cant help but hate her
Is it time to call the exterminator?

RITA (to Hermione)

Oh, you silly little girl
I can give your hair more curl:
Ill tell your love life to the world
Handle me with care

(to Draco)

As a team we two are grand
We just might get that dingbat canned
But while Im sitting in your hand
Handle me with care

DRACO

Ill give you the dirt on Potter
Hes deranged, a danger too
Have a scoop from Slytherin, Rita dear

HERMIONE (clapping Rita into a jar)

Trust this pest to have a bug for a daemon
Think Ill let you fly away?  Well, dream on!

RITA (to Hermione)

Its not like me to be meek
But now your mercy I must seek
If Im to stay in glass a week
Handle me with care.


Amy Z


=====
It's better than Malfoy's . . . It's NIMBUS 2003
Florida, July 17-20, 2003
Register at http://www.hp2003.org/

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