OOtP: Molly's--and Other Adults'--Shortcomings

[emmamariebee]

No: HPFGUIDX 66297

<snip from penny, I think>
Well, just to clarify (I *knew* that dissing Molly was not going to 
be popular) -----
1.  I *am* a mother; and............
2.  I am a Stay-at-Home mother (a "housewife" in other words) 
[though I was a corporate lawyer in a former life and am still doing 
some free-lance writing].  
And, I *still* don't like Molly.  Not one bit, really.  

Well, she is *definitely* a stereotype and one I don't much care 
for.  She fusses and frets too much; she in essence is living 
vicariously through her children and doesn't know when to let go.  
Part of being a parent is understanding that a child is an 
individual who must eventually spread his/her wings and fly away.  
Part of being a parent is understanding that your child may not want 
for himself precisely what it is that *you* want for him 
(::::FredandGeorge, cough::::).  Part of being a parent is at some 
point realizing that a fully-grown child or one in late adolescence 
is no longer six.  Yes, Jenny, I completely agree that she's trying 
to treat Harry and the others like they are 6.  She has no 
perspective, Molly.  

Me: 
When Molly got so incredibly carried away over Ron's prefect-ness, I 
waxed a little suspicious of her: Do external honors mean so much to 
her that she could (literally) forget two of her kids in her 
excitement over them?  (Rough quotes: Molly: "Oh, Ron, that's 
everyone in the family!" George: "What are we, the next door 
neighbors?")  

I agree Molly's got some stuff to work out or work on--but isn't 
that what makes this writing interesting? It's not just Harry, Ron, 
and Hermione who have some developing to do. Who says personal 
development stops after adolescence?  Molly has to learn to love her 
children as they are and to allow them to grow up. Lupin has to 
learn to balance his desperate need to be liked with a willingness 
to speak out against even his friends when they're behaving badly (I 
think he's made some strides in this direction in this book). Snape 
has to learn to see people (especially Harry, but also Lupin) for 
who they are and not who his pain-blinded self makes them out to 
be.  Sirius . . . 

ah . . . well . . . <sigh> It hurts to talk about what Sirius might 
have needed to learn.  So I'll just take a miss on that one.  

Em, who is looking forward to all this development and only wishes 
that . . . but knows the wish is futile even as she makes it.