[HPforGrownups] Re: TBAY: SILK SHIRTS and GREY UNDERPANTS

[Diana Williams]

No: HPFGUIDX 68071

Diana silently surveyed the GREY UNDERPANTS dangling from Sara-ELL's
fingers.  Not being one to throw around a lot of theories or chat idly, it
took her several minutes to formulate what she wanted to say.

"You know, Captain, it *does* make a certain amount of sense.  I mean, even
if it's pretty thin, full of holes, and smells a little off, there *is*
can(n)on of a sort to back it up.  Remember the fellow at the World Cup who
liked a little breeze around his privates?  What if Snape's father was the
same sort, as well as being an authoritarian bully who couldn't understand
how humiliating being trouserless can be to a young boy like that?  Maybe it
was *worse* than trousers - maybe his authoritative and neglectful father
wouldn't let him have *pants* either?  Even if Snape's family wasn't poor,
maybe he had to purchase his own underpants with his Hogsmeade spending
money, so he naturally only had a few pairs and had to sneak them into the
wash with his black robes so the House Elves wouldn't tell on him and that's
why they're grey."

Warming to the theory, she said excitedly, "And he couldn't keep buying new
ones because his father didn't give him enough allowance, plus he didn't
want a lot of evidence lying around, and he couldn't keep popping into the
clothing shops because his Housemates would have gotten suspicious.  And he
had to spend all his money on underpants so he didn't have enough for
trousers, or candy, or gag items, or haircare products, which is why he's
jealous of his students.  He's so nasty to Harry because he thinks Harry's
got it all, when in reality it's *another* thing for them to bond over -
Harry had to wear his cousin's cast-offs and Snape had to sneak around to
buy underpants. Oh - oh - oh!  And when Fluffy bites him on the leg - he was
doubly furious because Fluffy ruined a pair of his precious trousers. Oh,
the angst and the drama - that would make a wonderful background for a
story!"

Oblivious to the bewildered looks of her shipmates (not to mention their
slow edging away), Diana drops to the deck, pulls out a battered notebook,
and begins scribbling.