TBAY: SILK SHIRTS and GREY UNDERPANTS

[Sara_ELL]

No: HPFGUIDX 69890

It took Sara-ELL a few minutes to digest the new information her 
Captain had passed onto her. Her mouth gaping as she realised that 
the *obvious* connection between the GREY UNDERPANTS and the muggle-
baiting at the Quidditch world cup had passed her by, she struggled 
to regain her composure.

'Muggle-baiting and Severus-baiting...' she slowly 
repeated. 'Why..of course, cetainly... makes sense  - I mean, great 
that you saw that obvious can(n)onical reinforcement there Cap'n! I 
was going to mention it to you, but thought that you'd appreciate 
the surprise. Certainly does cover *one* of those holes up a bit, 
doesn't it?'

"Welcome aboard Sara-ELL!  Think you can climb the masts to hang 
those GREY UNDERPANTS of yours," Captain Oryomai pointed upwards.

Sara-ELL glanced down at the whiffy GREY UNDERPANTS that she still 
held in her hands. The smell that emanated from them, best described 
as 'Whoa - a bit off, that' was starting to make everyone's eyes 
water. Deciding not to press her good fortune any further, Sara-ELL 
warily eyed the boat's mast and gingerly placing one foot above the 
other on the black rope ladder that dangled from it, made her way 
upwards.

She eventually reached the top and hung the potentially deadly 
theory upside-down,in honour of their original bearer - *the GREY 
UNDERPANTS might indeed be a force to be reckoned with*, she thought 
to herself. Time will tell. 

She then made her way down to the crow's nest where she had a good 
vantage of the bay. Far down below, Sara-ELL could just make out 
Diana, still busily scribbling in her notebook. The Captain was 
busily conferring with Jens - and ActionFigure!Snape. 

Idly, Sara-ELL wondered whether she could substitute the 
ActionFigure!Snape for the Redeemed!Snape figure, she had carefully 
secreted in the pockets of her robe. She darkly wondered whether 
anyone had a Redeemed!Draco figurine (made of extra bendy rubber to 
enable it to wriggle around all of those unmalleable plotlines that 
made it ever so clear that Draco was Ever So Evil). Even Kirstini 
would find it difficult to off-load *that* item around here. On the 
otherhand, MADAM WHIPLASH's establishment looked like that sort of 
place that totally wobbly theories would hang around. It *was* 
plastered with Evil!Hermione pamphlets after all...

Pulling out a rusty pair of Omnioculars, Sara-ELL lazily surveyed 
the landscape. Setting the dial to 'reverse: May' she made out a 
brightly-attaired figure wearing a pair of hairy earmuffs, bobbing 
around in a large inner-tube. She appeared to be writing messages 
which she was then putting into bottles and throwing them in the bay.

Sara-ELL zoomed in - she could just make out one of the theories 
just before it was jammed into one of the brown bottles that dotted 
the waters of the bay; her heart skipped a beat as she read the 
words, so casually committed to paper. The boat was under attack; 
Captain Oryomai had to be informed. Immediately.

'Oi - Captaaaaain! Sara-ELL called out. 'We're under attack!'

Diana looked up - 'Don't see anyone around, what are you going on 
about up there?'

'Listen to this!' Sara-ELL called down in a panicked state.

"Snape is a red herring. He is not an Important! character. He's 
not going to save Harry or defeat Voldemort. His only purpose is to 
make sure that Harry does not have an easy time doing anything. He 
exists to gum up the works. He is not some saintly anti-hero."

'You didn't set your omnicolars on "Reverse", by any chance? Not 
looking at any root-beer-bottle toting TBayers?' 

'Oh.' Sara-ELL looked very sheepish. 'Umm. I guess that, HAD we been 
around in May, we would possibly have been under attack. By a root-
beer bottle.' 

She readjusted the settings on her visor and looked around at the 
Big Bang! Destroyer. To her horror, she made out the root-beer-
toting, swim-suit-wearing individual very clearly on the deck of the 
destroyer ...