TBAY - SCARF

[B Arrowsmith]

No: HPFGUIDX 70601

Kneasy was idly strolling along the beach, scanning the horizon for 
fresh opportunities. MADAM W was a roaring success, busy every night, 
with some very surprising customers.

But there was no challenge there,  and Droopy was getting on his nerves.

"Help! Help me!" A weak cry came from what looked like a floating 
rubbish pile, drifting a few yards out.

Kneasy did what anyone would do under the same circumstances - he 
ignored it.

The voice cried, "Save me. The truth must be saved!"

"The truth? That's in short supply round here," thought Kneasy, "maybe 
I can make a few sickles." He uncapped a Butterbeer, sat down and 
waited for the tide to strand the flotsam on the beach. Eventually, he 
reached in and pulled a small shivering figure from the pile, dusted it 
down and forced a reviving draught of Veritaserum between its lips.

"Tell all." he instructed.

"Well,  began the pathetic figure,  "it all started behind the 
broomsheds."

"You mean, you're Florence!?" gasped Kneasy.

"Don't be daft. She's my mum.  Lovely woman, sweet and kind and naive. 
That was her trouble. Believe anything, she would. Anybody could spin 
her a tale and she'd never suspect a thing. Problem was, half of what 
she was told was a load of old rubbish.
There was this boy, giving her the eye, trying to impress, you know the 
sort of thing. Mom wasn't too sure; he seemed a bit untrustworthy, know 
what I mean? Anyway, one day he sent her a couple of presents and a 
note. Said how he was a misunderstood character, how he'd suffered in 
the past. Of course, she believed him. And thats how she ended up 
behind the broomsheds."

"What presents were these?" asked Kneasy.

"Some SILK SHIRTS and some grey lingerie." replied the little mite. "It 
was downhill all the way from there; the broomsheds, the unfashionable 
wedding; no guests, no presents. Honeymoon in the Leaky Cauldron. So 
much for the bright lights and high life he promised. Then, just when 
it seemed it couldn't get any worse, it did. I came along, cried a bit, 
like most babies. Mostly because of the dragon pox. He couldn't stand 
it.  Started going  out at night. Got mixed up with a really bad crowd. 
Nasty lot. Thing was, they'd got money and we hadn't. Couldn't pay for 
his rounds in the pub. Then one of them suggested that he'd have more 
to spare if he didn't have a family to support. Beginning of the end, 
that was." Sobs shook his frail frame and tears dripped from his spotty 
chin. "Rowing all the time. Desperate for money, he was, applied for 
jobs everywhere, even Hogwarts. No luck, though. And eventually, it 
happened."

"You mean...."

"Yes, my dear old dad, Professor Severus Snape, did the dirty on us."

Kneasy sat, stunned by this epic domestic drama. A thought formed. And 
blossomed. Mightily.

"What you need is  a bit of publicity. Get your story in the papers." 
He began to sweat slightly. "Banner headlines - 'Snape the Love Rat', 
'Seduced by SILK SHIRTS; then Spurned." He rummaged in his pocket. "But 
we've got to do this properly. Look, I just happen to have this 20 page 
contract with me. Sign here. You do  take after your mother, don't you? 
I'll be your agent, bring your tragic tale to the public. I'll do all 
the talking, and I know a really good accountant. Stick with me, kid, 
and I'll be rich."

He looked around. "We need to find a place where I can stash you....I 
mean to protect you from unscrupulous reporters. I know, there's this 
old barge on the rocks by the jetty, you can stay there. Was a nice 
little SHIP but it broke up." He smiled, "Bit like your family, really. 
It's a bit damp in there. Here, wear this."
  He threw across a strip of knitted wool - a SCARF. Snape Chases 
Ambitions; Rejects Family.