Why to Like and Not Like OoP (minus words that must not be used)

[newdella]

No: HPFGUIDX 70917

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "m.steinberger" <steinber at z...> 
wrote:

<snipped different conversation>
> 
> > --- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "newdella" 
<Rosebeth710 at h...>
> > wrote:
> > >> >
<snipped section of my original post>
> >
> > Second, in reference to the section cited above.  As I have 
recently
> > come to learn due to RW events in my own life.  Every person deals
> > with pain, hurt and trauma differently.  Every person heals from
> > these events differently and on their own timetable.  So, while I
> > agree with you that Harry should be suffering, I believe that he 
is.
> > You state that Harry should either behave in manner a or manner 
b. I
> > completely disagree. Why can't Harry behave in manner f?
> >
> > Yes, Harry needs help.  He definately needs someone to talk to.  I
> > never thought that Harry's behavior was "wrong" or "unrealistic".
> > Okay, attacking Dudley was the wrong thing to do, but the emotions
> > that made him do it weren't.  I understood his rage.  Maybe that 
says
> > more about me then it does about Harry.
> >
> > Rosebeth
> 
> TAS: The a and b I offer Harry are a - keep your emotional 
immunity, which
> seems in HP1-4 magically limitless; or b - crack up in any of a 
dozen
> interesting ways, including your f. In OoP, Harry isn't cracking 
up, he's
> just venting what seems to be a moderate amount of ordinary teenage 
anger
> and frustration. Basically, he's acting like a petty, self-
indulgent brat,
> which isn't one of the many normal ways I know of for reacting to 
pain,
> hurt, and trauma, especially when it's part of a long series of 
traumas
> which did not inspire such a reaction before. I don't want you to 
answer
> this if it's not comfortable, but when you were coping with your 
trauma, did
> you act anything at all like Harry?
> 
> And thanks to all for some good discussions!
> 
> The Admiring Skeptic

Well, basically the answer to your question, did I act like Harry? 
Yes.  I had a series of life altering events that if I could have 
dealt with one at a time it would have been much easier.  However I 
got them all in a short period of time.  Did I become a petty, self-
indulgent brat?  Yep.  Took everyone in my life for the ride with me 
too.  It wasn't pretty and it wasn't easy, but now on the other side 
of it, I'm better for it.  And the people in my life understood, much 
the way Ron and Hermione do. 

The thing is this, Harry has all this pain and anger inside and he 
needs to get rid of it.  To make things worse he can't confront the 
sources of these emotions.  So he takes it out on whomever he can, 
namely, Dudley, Ron and Hermione.  Now, Dudley is a mistake because 
nothing can be gained from it.  Ron and Hermione are different.  
Being friends with someone means you take the good and the bad.  No 
matter how loud he yelled they were still there.  Their actions told 
him over and over that that were still his friends and would continue 
to stand by him.

Okay, I got a little off topic.  The other thing I wanted to say is 
that Harry has no idea how to properly deal with all of these 
emotions.  Look at how he reacts to Molly's hug at the end of GF.  
Now, it's a month later and he has no clue and he's all alone.  Also, 
previously, in the books he had one traumatic event at a time to deal 
with. In the graveyard scene the list is huge.  And now he's forced 
to deal with all of that at one time, much the way I did.  I believe 
that if Harry had faced any one of those events one at a time he 
would have handled much the way he has in the past.  

One last thing, we do have to remember that Harry is 15.  So on top 
of the trauma that he's dealing with he also has the hormones.  Let's 
just set that rollercoaster in super high speed and see what 
happens.  As for me, well I'm twice as old as Harry and was able to 
keep things a little more in check.  But that is something that comes 
with age and experience.  If LV's rebirth happened to Harry at 30 
rather then 14 we would see a different emotional response to it.

Alright, sorry that got so long.

Rosebeth