New Question: You're JKR's editor!

[Steve]

No: HPFGUIDX 72900

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "darrin_burnett" <bard7696 at a...>
wrote:
> OK, I'm back for a bit, with a question...
> 
> You've got a heavy-duty Time Turner and can go back and advise a 
> certain writer and SHE HAS TO LISTEN TO YOU.
> 
> ,,,edited,,,
> 
> Give how you'd have advised her to write it.
> 
> Darrin


bboy_mn:

I think one thing a good editor/proofreader should have spotted was
the excess use of certainl words; like 'Prickle'. Harry's scar rarely
throb, burn, ached, etc..., it nearly always prickled. I don't think
most English teachers would have allowed that degree of repetition in
anyone's homework. 

Although, the use of the word 'mate' didn't bother me. Think about how
often we used to say 'man' or 'dude', which has now been replaced by
things like 'my peeps' or 'homey'. I think 'mate' is a word that is
almost univerally used by the British from adolescence on.

Things others complained about that I thought were OK.

OWL results - sent at the end of July so we don't get to find out
until the next book. That's how it's done in Britain. Results of
standardized test are sent in the mail over the summer holiday. Since
JKR is modeled the school on the British boarding school system, it
would have been a glaring inconsistency to do it any other way.

Unnecessary Characters - like Grawp, Tonks, etc ... we have seen in
this latest book many many characters who have been riding deep in the
background, now come more to the foreground and develope more complex
personalities and have more complex purposes. I think we have to look
 at many of these new minor characters as introductions. It's true
beyond being introduced, they served little purpose in the story, but
that doesn't mean the won't have a greater purpose in the future story. 

Unnecessary scenes - many scene that seem to lack any significant
excitement or adventure are scenes that are establishing plot points
or extenting character development or given a window into the routine
apsects of peoples lives. For example; the whole section about
cleaning Black's house was a setup to introduce the Black family tree
amoung other things. That many have only been marginally significant
to this book, but it is bound to be of major significants in the next.
If I wanted to see one critical scene after another with no plot
development in between, I'd just wait and watch the movie.

I will add that I found Sirius's death very unsatisfying. But I think
it happened that way for a reason, and I think that reason will become
apparent in the next books.

Much of what we saw in this book seems hollow because the payoff
doesn't come until later in the story.

Just a thought.