What's going on under Snape's robes (longish)

[subrosax99]

No: HPFGUIDX 74274

I have noticed a few discussions popping up about wizarding attire, 
and what, if anything, was being worn under those robes. The general 
consensus seems to be that the books don't provide enough information 
to know for sure. A few people mentioned the pensieve scene in OoP as 
evidence that at least some people wear just the robes, with nothing 
underneath. That may be, but I'm wondering if this is something 
specifically to do with Snape.

I for one, subscribe to the theory that the Snapes were poor. Someone 
mentioned in a post a while back that Severus' bedroom looked to be 
roughly around doss-house standard. Just look at the flies! Assuming 
the Snapes live somewhere in the UK and not Calcutta, there's just no 
excuse for that kind of squalor. Even #12 didn't seem to have flies , 
and it had apparently not been cleaned for several years.

Then there's the infamous underpants. I've read all sorts of theories 
about this, but to me it's obvious the underpants are either old, or 
dirty, or both. Any other explanation is just ludicrous in my 
opinion. Honestly, does anyone really think JKR is hinting at the 
possiblity that Snape's mum doesn't know to separate the whites from 
the darks in her laundry? Or that there is something sinister about 
the washing powder at Hogwarts? I think the underpants were meant to 
add to an overall impression of shabbiness and neglect. For all we 
know, those were his only pair.

Which brings me to the robes. Maybe Snape didn't have anything else 
to wear. Assuming the requirements for students haven't changed 
drastically over the years, maybe Mrs. Snape just bought little 
Severus his three sets of plain black robes and left it at that. If 
money was tight, there wasn't likely anything left over to buy 
additionl clothing.

I can't believe anyone would go around Hogwarts wearing nothing but a 
robe and underpants. With all the goings on there, it's not hard to 
imagine Snape's robes blowing up around his skinny legs like Marilyn 
Monroe on a subway grate. Adult Snape might feel confident enough to 
give his privates some roaming room, but I can't believe that a 
teenage Snape wouldn't at least wear trousers as a precautionary 
measure. This is what leads me to believe that maybe he just didn't 
have anything else to wear and may have contributed to his image as 
an "oddball." We all know that kids who don't look right or wear 
funny looking clothes are often the first targets for bullies.

On the bright side, twenty or so years on, Snape looks as fashionable 
as all get out. That might be movie contamination, but at least he 
seems to have a look that working for him. Maybe the DE's sorted him 
out with a "What Not to Wear" kind of thing. He might have defected 
before they got around to the hair-care tips though, e.g. "here 
Severus, just work a small amount of this product, size of a dime, 
into your hair in the morning and it will really cut down on the 
greasiness." Or maybe not.

Sorry if anyone has mentioned this before. I am hoping against hope 
that I have an original crackpot theory here!

Allyson