Me And My Baby (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 59183

Since Hagrid may not make it past Book Five, I figure I'd better 
submit this rather light-hearted filk now, before tragic penumbrae 
attach themselves irrevocably to the house of Rebeus (although I 
think Sirius Black is a far more likely Book Five casualty)

Me And My Baby 

To the tune of Me And My Baby from Chicago (the stage version, not 
used in the film - if you only know the film, this song is in a fast 
ragtime tempo similar to They Both Reached For the Gun)

Dedicated to Haggridd 

THE SCENE: HAGRID'S hut. Enter HAGRID, carrying what appears to be a 
chicken egg. He has just returned from Knockturn Alley, and won the 
egg  - which the original owner swore spent considerable time 
underneath a toad – in a game of wizard poker. HAGRID is sure the egg 
will produce some fabulous Fantastic Beast

HAGRID
Me and my baby
My baby and me
She's just as rabied 
As rabied can be
What if I find
That I'm breaking the law?
Battle lines
I'll redefine
And fight for baby tooth and claw
She's kicking her shell now
And won't it be fun
All my friends tell now
The hatching's begun
Tell the DRC she's just a Doxy
'Cause I've got my baby
My fierce little baby
Look at my baby and me

Look at my baby
My baby and me
A beast not a being
>From bestiaries.
Do not tell MOM
For there's something to hide
It could mean jail
If wings and tail 
Within my hut I let reside
If she's obscurer 
And unclassified
I will procure her
An unabridged guide 
Though I lost Norbert 
Here's my new pur-tee
It's my little baby
My mean little baby
Look at my baby and me

Look at my baby
My baby and me
Phasing the world 
Interestingle-y 
Nothing can stop her
So nobody try
'Cause baby wrecks
And has five "X"
And incidentally, so do I!

Get out of our way, folks
And give her some space
Watch how she burbles
Before she gives chase
This is my mission
To keep her happy
Me and my baby
My manticore baby
My `mantula baby 
My Vipertooth baby
My Occamy baby
My Quintaped baby
My Basilisk baby 
My Blast-Ended baby
Look out for baby and me!

(The egg hatches. To HAGRID's infinite disappointment, his chicken 
egg produces an actual chicken. Sighing deeply, he feeds the chick to 
one of his hippogriffs). 

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm