[HPforGrownups] Re: Ron, Harry, Molly, and MONEY

[Jesta Hijinx]

No: HPFGUIDX 59647


>Felinia Jesta Hijinx wrote:
><< Harry really *could* do more for the Weasleys if he put his mind
>to it. I find all this "pride" the embarrassing part, actually. He
>could send an occasional anonymous gift to one of the Weasleys, and
>opine that it must have come from Bill or Charlie; he
>could "accidently" spill a few Knuts or Sickles in Ron's room on one
>visit to be found on the next break. >>
>
>That's why I like and respect Harry for *not* practicing 'quiet
>charity.' It's impossible to reject charity from freinds, and despite
>(or maybe because) of their freindship it creates a feeling of
>indebtedness. Afterall, true freinds are equals.
>
>Harry is inherently generous, and I think he'd give like mad if he
>thought it was really the right thing to do. But he doesn't. Droping
>Galleons around may be the easy way to solve Rons money problems, but
>it's not the best way. In the end Ron has to solve Ron's problems,
>and all Harry can do is help.
>
>snip a lot of stuff from Calimora and Rita<

Hi ladies:

With utmost respect - you are certainly entitled to your opinion.  However, 
I completely disagree with you both that there's *anything* "right" in Harry 
allowing his friend to continue to squirm in the grips of something that 
obviously causes him great emotional pain and embarrassment.

I heartily support practicing charity when it is within your means to do so, 
and accepting with grace when it is offered - that goes back to that yin and 
yang of life thing - because it may fall to your lot with the next turn of 
the wheel to extend charity to someone else.

Nobody's talking about Harry "solving all of Ron's money problems", or even 
the Weasleys' - I never said nor suggested that.  I'm mostly thinking in 
terms of the little incidents I have cited as support - the buying of treats 
on the train the first day (see, Harry thought of a gracious way to say "I 
bought all this, help me eat it all!") and the Omnioculars.  It's not that 
Ron's stupid, but who hasn't found three more knuts in a pants pocket than 
they thought they had?  It's not enough to fix the robes or the second hand 
books, but it *might* be enough for a butterbeer or a handful of sweets when 
they go into Hogsmeade.

Sometimes, it's all about the little things.  Heck - in the grip of coffee, 
my mind is racing, and I'd like to challenge folks to think of little ways 
that Harry might aid Ron, *regardless of whether they agree about pride or 
charity or what-not*, as a creative exercise.  Here's one:  Harry could 
"ruin" one of Ron's rattiest schoolbooks by a spill or a misfired spell, and 
insist on replacing it, and get a newer one.  Ron could hardly deny that, 
brought on by Harry's clumsiness.  ;-)

Felinia

P.S. - In case folks haven't guessed, one of the principles of an 
organization I belong to with which I spend a lot of time is "give and 
receive with grace".  I'm a firm believer in both parts of that; sometimes 
it's better to accept people's help with grace and not make them feel bad 
for offering simply because it's a mitzvah they need to do for their own 
soul.  It doesn't make you a bad person or a weakling; the whole idea is 
just to try to help them out when your turn comes, or someone else if 
they're not alone.

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