Pseudo-spoiler to lighten the wait to the release of OoP

[marephraim]

No: HPFGUIDX 60123

The voice of Jack Webb rises over ominous Dragnet music....

"The 'spoiler' you are about to read is untrue, the names haven't 
been changed to project the ridiculous."

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OMG! Another excerpt from the Book! WOW! This is sooooo cool!

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When Harry awoke and opened his eyes the dense darkness that 
surrounded him almost made him think they were still closed. His 
head ached and his bones felt stretched making every muscle feel 
pulled and sore. 

Slowly, his eyes became adjusted to the dimness. He shook his head 
and tried to look around. The limp flattened bodies of Wormtail, 
Hermione and the others still lay scattered where they had fallen. 
The contents of the giant cauldron seemed to still be fuming as the 
acid-like potion scorched the ground. The cauldron itself had 
finally come to rest against an old larch, and droplets of the 
noxious liquid were dripping onto the roots of the tree, that seemed 
already to be withering.

A cold high-pitched voice began to chuckle behind him making Harry 
jump and turn, although the effort made him ache even more painfully.

"It is now over, Harry Potter," said the sneering malevolent voice 
of Lord Voldemort. "Dumbledore's pitiful attempt to defeat me has 
failed and the Order of the Phoenix will rise no more. It would have 
been so much easier for you all to have simply submitted to my rule. 
But here we are, and there they are."

Harry felt hatred well up inside himself like he had never known 
before. The images of Dumbledore, Sirius, Hagrid, Dobby, Mr Weasley, 
Ron and Hermione all filled his senses at once and rage began to 
well up inside his mind. His hand clutched the charred remains of 
his wand as he glared up at the spectral figure of the wizard who 
had been responsible for every sorrow and loss he had ever 
experienced.

"You rotten murderer! You killed them all and for what? Power? Fame? 
Why have you done all this and what do you think you've really 
accomplished?" Harry hissed through clenched teeth, feeling a power 
begin to well up inside as he clutched the stub of his wand.

"Why, you ask? O dear boy, you have always been too stupid to 
comprehend the bigger picture haven't you," Voldemort said with a 
note of indulgent humour in his voice. "Did you not ever consider 
that without me you would be nothing, just another literary fiction 
selling in small quantities to a forlorn group of muggles with 
little in their lives to commend them? I am the reason for your 
existence! Did you think it was your parents? No, it was me, and I'm 
the reason you are known around the world, the reason otherwise 
sensible people read and reread books that are supposedly aimed at 
children -- how touching that no one has noticed the very large 
vocabulary, so outside the ken of youngsters. If not for me, Lord 
Voldemort, Harry Potter would not command publishing success on a 
scale unprecedented since the New Testament! People would not spend 
hours discussing every misplaced, comma every possible plot twist 
and odd choice of terminology, the history of creatures that simply 
never existed until a Scottish pauper penned them over coffee 
stained pages. And now it's come to this moment. Good bye, Harry 
Potter."

Voldemort laughed and Harry began to shake at the rage that was 
filling his mind and near the point of inexorable action. As if in 
slow motion, he saw Voldemort raise his wand in Harry's direction 
and begin to open his mouth. At the same moment he felt his wand 
hand jerk into position and the blackened stump of his own wand 
begin to quiver. Before Voldemort could react, Harry unleashed the 
spell.

"Momumentous Lucre Literaritas!" he cried, and a shower of pound 
notes, dollars, euros, franks and other monies converged from every 
direction, knocking down the evil wizard and burying him in a 
mountain of gold, silver, copper, and coloured paper. He heard 
Voldemort's scream fade as the mountain continued to grow and 
suffocate him.

There was a tremendous flash. 

Harry fell unconscious as a deep blackness shrouded him. When he 
awoke Madam Pomfrey was wiping his brow with a cool cloth. 

"What, Voldemort... he...," Harry faltered for words.

"There, there, dear. You just be quiet. Everything is alright."

Suddenly, Harry was aware of a shadow at the foot of the bed. He 
realised that somehow his wand was still in his hand. He pointed it 
blindly at the shadow, while standing up on the bed so quickly that 
Madam Pomfrey fell backwards into the floor.

"You keep away from me!" He shouted. "You're going to die for all 
the suffering you caused me and everyone I've ever loved!"

The shadow threw its hands into the air.

"Harry, Harry, you must calm yourself," said the gentle and familiar 
voice of Albus Dumbledore. "There are many things I need to tell 
you, Harry, if you'll do me the pleasure of not jinxing me before I 
have a chance."

Dumbfounded, Harry lowered his wand and stared at the elderly wizard.

Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-
moon glasses. 'It is time,' he said 'for me to tell you what I 
should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am 
going to tell you everything.'


This spoiler is dedicated to Lord Fishcake, TLC's happy poltergeist.

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