TBAY? Monster Ghost Mayhem... [was] Re: Something that has been bugging me

[medeacallous]

No: HPFGUIDX 61382

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, bettedavisgreen at a... wrote:
> Dans un e-mail daté du 20/06/2003 17:30:29 Paris, Madrid (heure 
d'été), 
> wildfemnight at y... a écrit :
> 
> > So how come someone can't paint a portrait 
> > of Lily and James so that Harry can talk to them? 
> 
<snip>
> 
> Oh! Totally wild, this one: what if Godric Griffyndor himself 
appeared? What 
> if that's in the 7th book, a battle between Godric and Salazar 
Slytherin???
> 
> 
> 
> ********
> 
> Bette Davis Green Eyes are watching you!!!



They could sell the fight on a 'Pay Per View'... (imagine the voice 
of 'Duff Man' from The Simpsons)

'We're gonna fill Hogwarts School with fifteen tonnes of Muuudd 
(uuud) (uudd) (uudd)...' [Images of Hagrid hosing down the Quidditch 
pitch while Filch moves mud with a caterpillar]

'Are you ready, boys and girls, for the Ectoplasm matchup of the 
Millenium???  Bring your see-through magic umbrellas, folks, because 
this one's gonna be messy (essy, essy, essy)!!'  [Montage of snaffed 
images from the Ghostbuster movies, the gooey bits]

'It's gonna be the Clash of the Titans (itans, itans, itans)!!  
Featuring Grinding Goderic Gryffindor, folks...' [Still picture of 
GG lit up a la Iron Chef] 'And introducing, his arch-nemesis 
Salazar 'Take It Outside' Slytherin.' [Moving picture of SS, decked 
out entirely in leather, a la WWF]

'We can't tell you any more than this, folks,' [cut to clip of 
serious-looking lawyer type with a clipboard gravely shaking his 
head] 'But let me put it this way:  One of these ghosts isn't 
leaving this place alive.'  [Still picture of GG with voice-
over 'Look out, Slytherin.  It's time for you to find out if all 
dogs DO go to heaven'.  Cut to video of 
SS 'ImgonnagetyouSonny...Imgonnasmashya, rollyaoutandhangyauptodry, 
andthenImgonnatwistyaintoapretzelandsmokeyalikeacigar.' ]

'Whoa, that's tough talk from a man who's spent the last 970 years 
in hiding, [Nervous laughter, cut to video of a bunch of Elvira-
looking girls tsk-ing that naughty taunt].  'But this man has 
something to prove, folks!!!  Who will it be?  You'll have to watch 
and see.'

Disclaimer, read in a different voice, very quietly:  'Promoters 
disclaim all liability for damages caused by mud, ectoplasm, and 
accidental or deliberate acts of possession.  Actual contestants may 
bear no resemblance to figures depicted in this advertisement.  
Offer void in Wales, the Shetland Islands and Azkaban.'