OOP: A FILK

[ewdotson]

No: HPFGUIDX 61553

Well, let's go ahead and get the obvious out of the way. ^_^
(I know the verse with the second person recounting what happened to him is
seriously weak.  I drew a real blank)


The Hogwart's Inquisition (Think Mel Brooks' History of the World, Pt 1)

The year was 1995, Lord Voldemort had been reborn. It was the hour of the
infamous auto-da-fet where for her own amusement Dumbledore supporters and
non believers were tortured in a carnival like atmosphere. And it was guided
by the most fearful spector, to sit in judgement over good and evil, the
High inquisitor, Professor Umbridge.
All pay heed, now enters his holiness, Professor Umbridge, the High
Inquisitor of the Hogwart's Academy!
Proffesor Umbridge, do not impore her for compassion,
Proffesor Umbridge, do not beg her for forgiveness,
Proffesor Umbridge, do not ask her for mercy,
Let's face it, you can't talk 'er out of anything
Let all those who wish to confess their evil ways
And to accept and embrace the true vision, Convert now or forever be
expelled,
For now begins the Inquisition,
The Inquisition, let's begin,
The Inquisition, look out sin,
We have our mission to convert the D.A.s
(Dee, ai, dee, ai, dee, ai...)
We're gonna teach them, wrong from right
We're gonna help them, see the light
And make an offer they can't refuse,
(That the DA just can't refuse)
Confess, don't be boring
Say yes (say yes) don't be bland
A fact, you're ignoring,
It's better to lose your wand than your wand hand
the Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go,
We know you're wishing that we'd go away
But the Inquisition is here and it's here to stay
The Inquisition, oh the fun
The Inquisition, what a joy
The Inquisition, oy oy oy
I was sitting in Charms,
I was minding my own business,
I was listening to a lovely little lesson,
Then these Slytherin plunge in,
And they throw me in the dungeon,
And they shove a Fever Fudge down my throat,
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of preparation H in sight!
I was sitting transfigurin 'chickens,
And I'm lookin through the pickins,
And suddenly the snakes break down the door,
I didnt even know them,
And they grabbed me by my brain stem,
And started bouncing me off the floor!
Oh the agony, oh the shame,
To torment me so just for a game?
The Inquisitions, what a show,
The Inquisitions, here we go,
We know you're wishing that we'd go away
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to
Hey Prof. Umbridge, whaddya say?
I just got back from the auto-de-fe
Auto-de-fe? what's the auto-de-fe?
It's what you oughten't to do, but you do anyway
Skit skat and voddley cat and toodlee de day
Will you convert? No, no, no, no
Will you confess? No, no, no, no
Will you revert? No, no, no, no
Will you say yes? No, no, no, no
Now I ask in a nice way, I've said pretty please, I've bent their ears, now
I'll work on their knees!
Hey Proffesor Umbridge, walk this way,
We gotta little game that you might want to play, So pull that handle, try
your luck,
Who knows, Umb, you might win a buck, alright.
Put it in the car, (in the car)
How we doin' - any converts today?
Not a one, nay, nay, nay
We've flattened their fingers,
We've branded their buns,
nothing is working,
Send in the sons,
(instrumental.  Three cloaked figures walk in.  When they reach the pool,
they throw off their cloaks, revealing Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle wearing
torso covering swimsuits.  The dive into the pool and start to perform water
ballet.)
Oi!
The Inquisition, what a show,
The Inquisition, here we go,
We know you're wishing, that we'd go away
So come you Gryffindors and Ravenclaws,
We've got good news for all of yas,
you better change your point of views, today,
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stayyy......