Sirius the Jerk

[Amy Z]

No: HPFGUIDX 61948

Jenny from Ravenclaw wrote:

 > 7. Are we supposed to dislike James Potter now? 

Rebecca wrote:

> Well, I never liked Sirius, and my opinion of him has only 
worsened. I can forgive a fictional character as long as they come to 
the conclusion they were wrong. I think maybe James did. He did, 
after all, save Snape later. 

We hear from Sirius, not from James, and Sirius refers to himself as 
an "arrogant little berk," gives Lupin credit for having made them 
feel ashamed of themselves, and says he's not proud of the way he 
treated Snape.  While I'd prefer for him to deliver a groveling 
apology to Snape in Harry's presence, I think that's clear evidence 
that he *has* reached the conclusion that he was wrong.

In general I'm happy that we saw a side of James, Lupin and Sirius 
that is very negative, and I particularly loved seeing Harry grapple 
with the realization that his dad wasn't a paragon (not to mention 
that he, Harry, had a lot in common with Snape . . . ooh, James as 
Dudley.  That hurts).  He sees a very bad side of Sirius and still 
loves and mourns him.  Sounds like maturity.

Speaking of which, I think Lupin and Sirius have matured enough to 
make the difficult realization that they did bad things when they 
were growing up, and the further realization that one has to stop 
feeling guilty for the things one did 20 years earlier and forgive 
oneself as one hopes one could forgive any 15-year-old for being a 
cruel idiot.  People who berate themselves for things they did long 
ago are really stuck in a less-than-exalted developmental stage, IMO 
(and I can talk `cause I'm one of them).  That isn't to say that they 
shouldn't apologize, if the people they've hurt are still alive.

Actually, what bothers me more about Sirius's reaction is that he 
doesn't take Harry's upset feelings seriously enough–frowning at him, 
e.g., even as he says the right things ("your father  .. . was a good 
person.  A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen").  Lupin 
does a better job, IMO, though he too takes it too lightly.  Sirius 
talks to Harry "placatingly," "bracingly"–how about sympathetically, 
Sirius?  Don't you realize how little Harry knows about his dad and 
how painful it is to learn that your parents weren't perfect?  But as 
Dumbledore says, the old (or in this case the 30-something) forget 
what it was like to be young.

I hope to God that any son of mine knows a lot more about me than 
Harry does about James before he finds out the worst thing I did when 
I was fifteen–-or better yet, that he never finds out.  Among all the 
things that are making me miserable about Sirius's death, one of the 
worst is that he died before Harry got to know more about *him* than 
the little sketches he got from a few letters and a few weeks spent 
with him.

Amy Z
with a long hug for Marina and all the other suffering Sirius-lovers