OotP: Reason and need for angst/anger

[bettedavisgreen at aol.com]

No: HPFGUIDX 61972


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 Sirius death = Harry losing all heart (as in people to love) = Harry angrier 
and bitter that ever WITH possible relation to lack of mother's touch (though 
all my readings on babies' first months development make me wonder about 
this, but then ...)

Harry never really had something to live for, did he? Hogwarts appeared to be 
the only thing he had. Maybe I'm going too much into depression myself, but 
seems that Harry is going into that age where we "all" start to think about the 
meaning of live, ie the meaning of our own lives. The meaning of his life 
now, apparently, is simply to kill - and free WW, but even with all his hero 
stuff I don't think he really bothers much about that. You can only really 
sacrifice yourself if you had good moments and things, otherwise it's not really 
sacrifice...

Could it be that the reason he has to be so angry (and we have seen nothing 
yet, I'm betting) is that old parallel philosophical concept: you can't 
recognise the light before you have known the darkness, you can't give the proper 
value to life before you have felt death, you can't really understand and feel 
love untill you have felt its contrary INSIDE yourself? Because Harry has been 
void of really strong emotional things inside him, hasn't he?

And he had never really lost someone he had felt loved him. OotP killed 
everyone for him, and most of all his illusions about almost everyone he really 
cared for (though I really wish he'll turn to Lupin now, and find him to be the 
real permanent surrogate father - Lupin has his own monthly death). Maybe he 
needs this darkness inside him in order to truly understand (and be worthy of) 
his mother's love, and Love, to speak of it. Maybe he needs to fall, to go to 
hell, in order to come back - and maybe that's why he needs to kill Lord 
Thingy. LV is the dark one in Harry, as we all have our dark side, and Harry has to 
kill him off (even if death is not the worst and forgiveness is, maybe if 
death is not the answer) in order to be Harry. Good vs Evil, Light vs Darkness. I 
know this reading has been around since the beginning, but maybe it's getting 
clearer. 

Cristina (who hopes this has made sense)





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