OoP: Reassessing the Dead Sexy Blokes list

[donna_immaculata]

No: HPFGUIDX 65531

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "Kirstini" <kirst_inn at y...> wrote:
> Just felt that Darrin's testosterone-charged post deserved an 
> answer, and I'm well aware that I'm going to be brutally savaged by 
> the Snapeologists for this...:

Kirstini,

Thanks for starting this titillating thread! (I'm boldly ignoring Darrin's Babe-post, the true initiator of all this.) Can't resist adding my two knuts to your list, especially since we totally agree on the No.1!

 
> 1. Lupin. Just keeping up the momentum built up in PoA. Earns extra 
> points for understated grief, and also for going over and talking to 
> the new werewolf in Arthur's ward. Oh yes, oh yes.

Donna's comment: 
Oh yes, oh yes. Amen to this. And: Lupin seriously kicks ass, if necessary. I'm convinced of this. I'm so waiting for his composure to slip, and then all hell breaks loose...

 
> 2. Sirius. Now elevated to Tragic Hero status (sniff), plus extra 
> points for rushing to save Harry, and for all that handsome 
> arrogance and nice hair in the Pensieve. I don't care if he wasn't 
> very nice about, quite frankly.

Donna:
Sirius is Dead Sexy. Period. He gets away with everything in my eyes, and the formerly Arrogant Hunk now Tragic Hero status by no means diminishes his appeal. Don't know whether I'd like the guy if I met him in RL, but I'd shag him anytime!

> 
> 3. *New Entry* Kingsley Shacklebolt. Oh good lord yes. I'm with 
> Captain Cindy on this one, and wondered if she wouldn't mind giving 
> me navigation tips for my spanking new dinghy, which I'm calling 
> KIDS (Kingsley Is Dead Sexy - does exactly what it says on the tin.)

Donna:
Amen to this, too. I don't care we don't know much about him and he hasn't got a real depth as yet. He's got a Deep and Slow Voice. Can I board your dinghy?

> 
> 4. *New Entry* Fred and George. For all the one liners, and because 
> their exit was just a bit too darn cool. Although those nasty 
> dragonhide jackets made their positions a bit wobbly.

Donna:
Nah, don't like them. Never have. They try too hard, are too comic-relief-y. A bit like the Hobbits I-never-can-tell-apart Merry&Pippin, and I don't like those, either. (Although Fred&George do have some good one liners, I must admit. OK, so one major reason I don't like them is: they're one entity. Even their mother only pictures them together when she sees them dead. NOT a good sign for properly developed characters.)
> 
> 5. *New Entry* Harry himself - and before anyone starts, Darrin was 
> allowed Ginny, and she's even younger. He's finally developed a 
> backbone, and I *like* that. And he'll grow out of the tantrums. 
> Besides, Cho Chang has good taste, I think. Cedric might have been a 
> bit of a wet dishcloth, but he was still hot.

Donna:
A fandom which revolves around a young boy might be the wrong place for me seeing as I really don't care about most teenage characters. Harry might be sexy, I couldn't tell.

> 
> 6. James Potter. He was a little bit higher originally, but did 
> prove himself to be a bit of twannock in the Pensieve. He's still in 
> on sufferance, as my fifteen year old self would really have fancied 
> him, spineless little wretch that she was.

Donna:
I don't care about James having been a bullying little meanie at the age of 15. All boys were. (Unless they were the ones bullied.) But I don't care about James at all, anyway.

> 
> 7. Lucius Malfoy. Also demoted, because of frankly humiliating 
> roping/Azkaban scenario. Part of the attraction for me was that he 
> was going to become Minister for Magic. He didn't.

Donna:
I must admit, I never saw anything even remotely cool about him. He brags about money and ministry connections and he bullies people like Hagrid, who's so not in his league! What's cool about a well-educated, well-spoken man who brandishes his wit on a not-so-well educated poor sod? He shall attack an equal first, before he even attempts gaining coolness in my eyes.
> ____________________________________________________________________
> 
> Bubbling under:
> Snape. I'm sorry. All that death-stoppering power is still tempting, 
> but he wears GREY pants. Pre-OoP I was prepared to concede that the 
> greasiness had something to do with potion-making, but I'm not 
> anymore. And throwing an adolescant strop and stopping Occulemency 
> classes? Not attractive either.

Donna:
Ah, Snape. I've got a very ambivalent relationship with Snape: Never liked him as written by JKR, but I quite like (not to say: adore) a well-written Fandom!Snape. And there's one good reason to ignore greasy hair and grey underpants: Alan Rickman!

> 
> Bill Weasley. Succumbed to Fleur's charms a little quickly, didn't 
> he?

Donna:
A major disappointment of OotP: Bill's minute role. I was so looking forward to seeing him again, and the news that he left Egypt and got a desk job in London got me all excited - and then it all came to nothing. Let's hope he soon escapes Fleur's French-manicured claws...

>SNIP<
> 
> No thankyou very much:
> Draco. Pale, slimy little imitation of his father.

> Kirstini (preparing resistance to all Snape-related hexes and jinxes 
> as you read this.)

Donna:
I so agree. Don't like Draco - not because he's evil (I don't think he is), but because he's pathetic. God, the boy's 15, and he still keeps whining about Daddy when he's in trouble with his peers! And then there are his obsession with Harry and Co. plus the pathetic attempts to provoke them! Heavens, boy, get a life! (Says a woman who spends hours in front of the computer analysing eye colours and favourite classes of fictional teenagers...)

Honorary mention: Alastor 'Brings his own drinks' Moody as sketched by Star Opal. Mad Eye rocks!

Donna Immaculata,
who's come to realise that the cool, calm, composed guys really do it for her and gave up on trying to convert and comfort the depressed, deranged and disturbed ones