It Must Work (filk)

[Haggridd]

No: HPFGUIDX 53589

This filk is a parody of "It Needs Work", from the Larry Gelbart 
musical "City of Angels".

As you already know, the original music can be found at this site:

http://www.broadwaymidi.com/shows/city_of_angels.html

This filk is dedicated to CMC, who can filk with the best of them 
with songs both popular and obscure, and to Anne U.


                      It Must Work

Scene: Moaning Myrtle's Lavatory.  Hermione is trying to convince 
Harry and Ron (and herself) that it will be safe and effective to 
take the Polyjuice Potion.  Moaning Myrtle just listens in silence.)


The dreaded Boomslang beast,
We'd shredded skin it shed after it was deceased.
We stole Snape's private stores,
The powdered horn of the Bicorn was there.
You have to listen, guys,
The Lacewing flies must stew for three full weeks, at
     least.
So, we'll delay this tryst until
The Christmas Feast.
It must work.


I wheedled Lockhart, Ron.
It paid off when I played into his vanity. 
Signed the permission slip;
His ego trip was more than I could bear,
Restricted section-bound,
We found "Most Potente Potions" in the Library.
Its recipes were clear for anyone to see.
It must work.


We only have to add
A little "Goyle" in it, 
A little "Crabbe" in it,
And some "Bulstrode" in it.
And since we put the best
Fruits of our toil in it, 
We can't recoil from it,
Not if there be night soil in it.


Go to the Entrance Hall
And take these chocolate cakes up to the bannister.
I'm sure those greedy gits
Will gobble them to bits without a care.
So, if you want to flaunt your new-learned craft,
You'd better give those boys that sleeping draught.
You have to dare this task to get some of their hair.
You can't be shy; it's "Do or die!"
It must work.


We found old Mrs. Norris hanging by her tail.
And even worse, we thought that she had died.
When Argus Filch had seen her, he let out a wail. 
But Dumbledore took him aside,
Said she was only petrified.


The writing on the wall;
The past has cast a blast of fear on one and all.
The Chamber opening,
And also warning "Enemies, beware!"
We've taken up the quest to stop this crime.
Since we've decided it's the proper time
To discover who is Salazar Slytherin's Heir.
Now hear me, boys, you can't be coy,
Or you will never fool Malfoy.
We've done our job, we'll trick that snob!
It must work.


(Harry and Ron, reluctant but persuaded, proceed with their mission.  
After all her preparation, Hermione has decided not to come along, 
for some reason.)


Haggridd