SHIP: a few kayaks and a large fan-tom ship

[asandhp]

No: HPFGUIDX 53631

I've got a few off-center ideas for future SHIPs which I'm listing 
for your entertainment, but since I don't expect anyone to join me, 
I've called them kayaks. If any of you are interested in investing in 
these, they can be expanded to rowboats or larger.
 
My idea about Ron, though, is more complex. I predict he'll go with a 
character who has not yet been introduced, and I have quite clear 
ideas about who this character will be and many of the plot twists 
that will involve this speculative person. I'm guessing a scenario 
similar to the Crookshanks-Scabbers plot in which we knew something 
was going on, but found out at the end that what was really going on 
was something very different and important. I predict the same for 
Ron - we'll see him together with someone in a certain way, and then 
discover at the end something different and important. So - if my 
ideas are all "fantasy" ;-), fine, enjoy them for now. But if I'm 
right, reading my theory will spoil the surprise ending. So I'm 
putting my Ron theory at the end of this post, and read it at your 
discretion.
 
For the simpler ones:
 
McGonnagal and Hagrid. (1) They kissed in PS. (2) They're about the 
same age. (3) McGonnagal has never talked down to Hagrid. (4) He's 
likely to prove himself in the V War and become respectable enough 
for McGonnagal to be seen with in public. (5) She might also 
transfigure him to a more managable size, which would explain why 
Coltrane isn't needed after movie 5.
 
Snape and Fleur. (1) I just like the black and white look of the two 
of them together. (2) She's got veela charms that could possible turn 
the unturnable Snape head. (3) I'm sure that JK's going to do an 
Austen's Darcy on Snape. He's going to fall for someone "inferior" 
or "unsuitable" against his will and there's going to be this 
incredible inner struggle culminating with a fantastic proposal scene 
to make Jane Austen proud, etc. That part I'm sure about. Whether the 
someone is Fleur or someone else, I'm not so sure, but Fleur is as 
good as anyone. What I really can't figure out is how we're going to 
be privy to all this, working from Harry's POV.
 
Hermione and Cho. - no, not a slash-ship, just roommates. (1) I 
believe that Harry's going to die, or otherwise be out of the story, 
at the end of Book 7, and Hermione and Cho will both have lost two 
beuxs each (Krum&Harry and Cedric&Harry), and will give up looking 
for men for a while and just move in together for company and to 
reminisce about Harry. (2) Possibly - very far-fetched possibly - 
Harry and Hermione will marry for a few days before he 
dies/disappears-from-story, and Hermione will end up the single 
mother of a son named Harry. After all, Hermione is JK's alter-ego, 
and single motherhood was an important period in her life. (3) I do 
believe that Hermione will eventually (around 28?) marry some much 
older wizard (40?) of the type who reads Transfiguration Today, and 
they will be very attached and loving and happy and good to each 
other. (4) As for Cho, I suppose that sometime between 18 and 28 
(when Hermione gets married), she and Hermione will take a world-
wizarding tour, and while in America, Cho will fall for some Quodpot 
superstar and settle down on that side of the Atlantic.
 
Harry - Unless he has a *very* short marriage to Hermione, then he's 
not going to pair up with anyone. He's been fighting V since he was 
born, just about, and what kind of normal life can such a person have 
once V is gone? Either he'll die, or be out-of-story some other way, 
which I'll post about some other time.
 
Neville and Ginny. They could be very happy together, once Neville 
becomes a respectable absent-minded professor.
 
Dean and Lavender. Why not?
 
OK, enough small potatoes. Now on to Ron and - 
 
Ron and Hermione's Muggle sister. (1) Ron is surely going to marry a 
muggle because that is the ultimate vindication of the anti-racism 
theme that the books revolve around. In this way, he'll be as great 
as (or greater than) his brothers (his great need) on the moral 
front, which is the greatest front there is (certainly JK feels that 
way). (2) The moralistic humor potential of Ron bringing a Muggle 
home is delicious: "Ron, of course we love muggles, and we'd be 
thrilled if you married a muggle-born witch like Hermione, but a 
completely magicless person?" etc. (3) Hermione has never mentioned 
this sister because she's always been terribly jealous of the 
gorgeous, straight-haired, straight-teethed, popular, straight-A(-)-
average-without-studying kid who's been threatening her since said 
sister taught herself to read at the age of 4. That's why Hermione's 
turned herself into a nerd/geek/swot. But when said sister did not 
get a Hogwarts letter the summer before HRH's Year 2, Hermione 
started to forgive her and loosen up. But then it was a little late 
to start talking about a sister she had pretended didn't exist 
before. She would've felt too stupid. So she just didn't say 
anything. (4) But now, when H&R are going to visit Hermione during 
the summer (so we've all decided), they'll meet Miss Muggle, and Ron 
will notice that she's a bit better suited to him than Hermione 
herself, and Hermione will see the same and bless the mutual interest.
 
Now for the plot twisting: How are Ron and Miss Muggle Granger (MMG) 
going to keep up a relationship with him at Hogwarts and her at Eton, 
or wherever? Well, during that visit to the Granger Family, Ron 
discovers all sorts of great things about Muggle-land, including 
Chess Clubs and Chess Magazine. Hermione arranges a subscription for 
him to be delivered to her house, and then sent to her by her 
parents, which she then delivers surreptitiously to Ron (since 
dealing with the Muggle world is so frowned upon). If MMG is dorming, 
she can offer to have the subscription delivered to her at school to 
forward to Hermione, and if she's at a local school, then it's even 
easier. She just sneaks letters into the Chess Magazine copies which 
Hermione happily passes on, and Ron give Hermione letters to include 
within her own posts directly to her sister.
 
Anyway, with all this going on, there's lots of secret whispering 
going on between Ron and Hermione, which Harry interprets as them 
being involved with *each other.* Harry's a bit hurt, because he's 
getting feelings for Hermione himself, but he decides to be noble, 
and in slightly mournful tones talks to Ron occasionally about Ron's 
relationship (without mentioning Hermione by name, of course). Ron 
goes on about how wonderful their (without naming MMG) relationship 
is, and his hopes to be connected to the Grangers one day, etc. 
Meanwhile, Hermione's trying to catch Harry's attention, but Harry's 
being noble and refuses to notice anything coming his way, because 
he's so sure there's a Ron-Hermione thing. This goes on all year, and 
we, the readers, seeing things from Harry's perspective, are supposed 
to be suprised and delighted when at the end of the year, everything 
gets sorted out in some very funny, sweet, ticklish scene where Harry 
finally realizes who's really interested in whom, discovers the 
delights of romance, and has to start helping Ron deal with his 
parents and with WW attitudes in general to a wizard -muggle 
relationship.
 
So, if H&R do end up visiting Hermione in an upcoming book, and find 
an MMG there, don't be surprised by the outcome. And if none of this 
happens, all I can say is that it should have!
 
The Admiring Skeptic