[filk] Voldemort is now Tom M. Riddle

[Lilac]

No: HPFGUIDX 54099


In message #53704, Gail said:

<<<Okay, show of hands. Who remembers the group They Might Be Giants? You 
*know*...Anna Ng? Cow Town? C'mon, I can't be the only one out here!>>>

*raises hand* Oooh, me, me!  In fact, Gail, it looks like great minds think alike, because I've been filking the same song with the same subject (I was working on it when yours came out last week, if you can believe it)!  However, mine has a slightly different twist, inspired by the anagram discussions on this list recently.... 


VOLDEMORT WAS ONCE TOM M. RIDDLE
to the tune of "Istanbul (not Constantinople) by TMBG
http://members.fortunecity.com/ultimate_midi_madness/Alternative (thanks for the link, Gail)

Dedicated to any alternative music fans out there!


(The scene:  Harry and Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets.)  

"How is it that you -- a skinny boy with no extraordinary magical talent -- managed to defeat the greatest wizard of all time?  How did you escape with nothing but a scar, while Lord Voldemort's powers were destroyed?"

"Why do you care how I escaped?"  Harry said slowly.  "Voldemort was after your time...."

"Voldemort," said Riddle softly, "is my past, present and future, Harry Potter...."

(A violin begins playing while Riddle is writing "TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE" in the air with Harry's wand.  He starts singing...)  

TOM RIDDLE:
Voldemort was once Tom M. Riddle 
and Tom M. Riddle is now Voldemort
Been a long time gone, old Tom M. Riddle
Now I am "Flight of Death", so don't hold your breath!

(Riddle waves the wand; the letters start moving)

Watch my name, it is rearranging 
These letters slide their way into changing
My dirty muggle name, I've exchanged it 
And no more am I Tom Riddle!

(The letters are still moving)

Well, your wand must have a mind that's all its own
Give it a moment, almost there
Yes, my name's floating in the air...

Now, wait a minute, that's not how it starts...
It is not "I'M OLD MOLD OVER ART",
Nor am I "I'M LORD REMOVAL DOT",
And I'm not "LORD, ME A VOMIT LORD"
And not "I'M VOTED MORAL LORD"!

No-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Voldemort, Voldemort

No-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Voldemort, Voldemort

(Harry stifles a giggle)

Now, don't laugh! Just wait!  I think it's almost there
You will see it's quite imposing
What? It looks like it's transposing...

No, not "EVIL, MAD, OLD MR. ROOT"
and not "EVIL RAT ODD MR. LOOM"
What's this? Not "DAMMIT!  ROLL OVER, DO!"
and it's not "DROOLED IMMORAL TV"
No way to "DO ROLL, VOMIT DREAM"

(Riddle throws a fit even a toddler would be proud of.  After a minute of this, he angrily thrusts Harry's wand towards the errant letters, instantly erasing them, and painstakingly writes "I AM LORD VOLDEMORT" himself.  With as much composure as he can muster after acting like a two-year-old, he again sings...)

So, Voldemort was once Tom M. Riddle 
And Tom M. Riddle is now Voldemort
Been a long time gone, old Tom M. Riddle
Why did I change my name to Voldemort?
Truth is, couldn't stand the "Marvolo" 

VOLDEMORT!

Lilac, who really, really enjoys poking fun at the Dork Lord....



 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Professor, can you show me that blocking thing again?"

Lockhart cuffed Harry merrily on the shoulder.  "Just do what I did, Harry!"

"What, drop my wand?"

 --Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*



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