An acronym, why can't JKR count, etc.

[Ersatz Harry]

No: HPFGUIDX 57761

Too many thoughts going through my head right now; does anyone know
where to buy a pensieve?  In no particular order, they are:

(1) This whole theory of Harry as Voldemort strikes me as, well, nuts.
 Not only do we have the various time travel problems and factual
contradictions (is H/LV a Gryff or a Slyth?), but I think we'd be hard
pressed to find any good in LV, though we can certainly find some
faults in Harry.  Still, at heart I think of Harry as a decent and
scrupulous person, which led me to the following acronym.  I'm open to
suggestions for improvement.

BALDERDASH = Boy as Lord denies every reasonable determination about
Scrupulous Harry.  So there.

(2) No doubt JKR's problems with counting have been discussed many
times in the archives, but they are sometimes so bad that they make me
question all theories about the unnamed fourth man in one of the GoF
pensieve scenes, the third missing death eater in the GoF graveyard
scene, and so on.  The earliest bad one I can think of comes early in
the series, right at the end of the sorting ceremony in PS/SS (p. 122
in my US edition).  Harry has already been sorted, and the text
shortly after states:  "And now there were only three people left to
be sorted."  The names of Thomas, Dean and Turpin, Lisa are mentioned,
"then it was Ron's turn".  Sounds like three to me, but the next
paragraph refers to one more sortee: Zabini, Blaise.  I'm hoping no
one has any theories about how this is not an error, or how it somehow
supports the idea that Harry is Riddle or Voldemort.  But I'm sure
someone can get creative along these lines.

(3) While the text is not perfectly clear about the relationship
between certain of the DEs and the students of the same surnames, we
are certainly led to think that the students are sons of the
corresponding DEs (I think, for example, that either Crabbe or Goyle
is mentioned as having a thick build, like his possible son).  Now we
don't know exactly how many DEs there are -- canon mentions a total of
19 by name (all in GoF, I think), but there may well be a good number
of others.  After the graveyard scene, for example, Harry says to
Moody/Crouch that there were "loads of them".  Still, I can't help but
notice that 4 of the 19 named DEs -- Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, and Nott
-- have (probable) sons that are all in the same Hogwarts year (and
all in Slytherin, as we'd expect).  This strikes me as a very high
proportion.  Do some of the DEs get together and decide when to
conceive children, perhaps as a way to ensure sufficient concentration
of their progeny at a given place and time?

(4) With the exception of the Weasleys and the Creevys, I can't think
of any instances where siblings of current Hogwarts students are
named, though there is a reference to Dumbledore's brother and of
course we know about Lily's sister.  Is there a particular tendency
for wizard families to have only children?

(5) With the exception of Rita Skeeter, all of the significant
malevolent (or malevolent-seeming) characters that I can think of are
male.  I offer up the categories and lists below, but cut me some
slack on whether individual characters are truly good or bad.

Good Males: Harry, Ron, Rubeus, Albus, Remus, Sirius, James, Arthur

Bad Males: Voldemort, Lucius, Severus, Crouch the younger, Peter,
Draco and friends, Igor, maybe Quirrell

Fairly Useless Males: Gilderoy, Ludovic

Good Females: Hermione, Minerva, Molly, Lily, Ginny (not quite major)

Bad Females: Rita (Narcissa is certainly not yet a major character)

Fairly Useless Females:  Sibyll

I would certainly love to hear comments about the distinct lack (so
far) of nasty female characters.


Ersatz Harry, whose mind is a bit emptier now