FILK ; The Gryffs and the Slytherins

[Ellen & John Anglin]

No: HPFGUIDX 58050

Hello all! Long time, no filk!
Well, actually I have been filking, but all my Filk energy has been 
going into songs for the Adult RPG game "Lightning Wars" ofer at 
Livejournal. http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?
user=lightningwar  Most of the filks can be found on the lightning 
wars OOC board; http://www.livejournal.com/userinfo.bml?user=lw_ooc

If any of you are interested in the 1942 era potterverse, come on by 
and have a look! (Slash warning, though you won't see anything rated 
NC-17 on the public boards.)


Anyway, this little parody had little or nothing to do with LW, 
other than being inspired by the scenario of the entire school being 
turned loose in Hogsmeade to celebrate Bonfire Night.


The Gryffs and the Slytherins

A Parody by Ellen Anglin
Based on "The Pekes and the Pollicles" from the Broadway 
musical "Cats" by Andrew Lloyd Weber


Of the awful battle of the Gryffs and the Slytherins
Together with some account
Of the participation of the Huffs and the 'Claws
And the intervention of the Great Dumbledore

The Gryffs and the Slytherins everyone knows
Are proud and implacable passionate foes
It is always the same wherever one goes
And the Huffs and the 'Claws although most of them say
That they do not like fighting yet once in a way
They whip out their wands and join in the fray

And they...
Spark! Spark! Spark! Spark!
Spark! Spark! SPARK! SPARK!
Just watch Hexes flying all over the park!


Now on the occasion of which I shall speak
The tension was building for nearly a week
And on Bonfire night that when things hit the fan
The prefects were missing, all gone to a man
I don't know the reason, but most people think
They'd slipped off to the Three Broomsticks for a drink
And nobody knows who was in Hogsmeade square
When the Gryff and the Slytherin forces met there

They did not advance , they refused to retreat
But they glared at each other and shuffled their feet

And started to...
Spark! Spark! Spark! Spark!
Spark! Spark! SPARK! SPARK!
Just watch Hexes flying all over the park!


And they...
Spark! Spark! Spark! Spark!
Spark! Spark! SPARK! SPARK!
Just watch Hexes flying all over the park!


Now the Slytherin snakes with a look cold as ice
Faced the Lions and tried to turn cats into mice
And so all the Huffs, when they heard the uproar
Came rushing right out of the Honeydukes store
Soon gathered a dozen, or maybe a score
The backed up the lions and started to glare
The tension was thick like dark smoke in the air
The 'Claws smelling trouble turned up in a wink
Ravens are war birds and like a good stink!

Wizards and Witches of every sort
Turned up to sort out the mess
Gathering round to join in the sport
But to starting it no one will 'fess 
It began with a simple retort;
"Give way? Arse off! We'll not knuckle under."
Let my meaning be perfectly plain
We're the best house at Hogwarts by Thunder!
And you'd best not give us sass again!"

Now you know any beater can strike a right fair blow
And any good seeker is fast on their feet
The teams lined right up wands in hand in good order
To defend yet again against House defeat.


Then the Gryffs and the Slyths held no longer aloof
But with back up snipers firing down from the roof
Join to the din with a...
Spark! Spark! Spark! Spark!
Spark! Spark! SPARK! SPARK!
Just watch Hexes flying all over the park!


Dirumpo! Conturbo! Inflatio! Dormio! 
Obfirmo! Prurigo! Percello! Succendo!*
Hear them tossing hexes all over the Park

When these bold heroes in battle assembled
The townsfolk all ran and behind curtains trembled
And some of the neighbors were so much afraid
That they started to call up the Aurors Brigade
When suddenly right in the midst of the roar
Who should appear but our hero Albus Dumbledore

His hands filled with power most fearfully blazing
He banished the spells with an ease most amazing
And when he looked about at each shocked student face
Every ruffian had been set back in his place.

With a few taken points and a word about rules
The disheartened armies were sent back to school


And when the Night Auror returned to his beat
There wasn't a student left out in the street

All thanks and buy drinks for the great Dumbledore!

Slyths and Griffs, must when they meet
Huffs and 'Claws in Hogsmeade streets
When teachers are watching, simply retreat.



*Spell Translations; Break in pieces!, Confusion!, Fart!, Sleep!, 
Lock up!, Itch!, Catch on fire!