The Diagon Life (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 58264

The Diagon Life (PoA, Chap 3-4)

To the tune of The Glamorous Life from Sondheim's A Little Night Music

Dedicated to Amy Z & Haggridd

HARRY arrives at the Leaky Cauldron – expecting to be expelled from 
Hogwarts, Fudge gives him a carte blanche to dally in Diagon Alley 
for the next two weeks

TOM:
Poor old Harry Potter led one un-merry life
Did the chores and kept the garden
Mowed the lawn until exhausted.
Poor old Harry Potter through extraordinary strife
Fled his Aunt and caught the Bus
As he's pursued by Black

.
In fact!

FUDGE:
Harry, we've been in a flap,
But, Harry, no harm has been done,
Miss Dursley has since been punctured
By our Accidental Magic Reversal Department 
In spite of this little scrap
They'll welcome you back as a son
Not till next year, it is preferred
Says our Accidental Magic Reversal Department 
Thank you.

(HARRY revels in his unprecedented freedom amidst the wonders of 
Diagon Alley)

HARRY:
Unpack my luggage, la la la,
Pack up my sorrow, la la la,
Sing from the rooftops, la la la,
Hi-ho, the Diagon life!

TOM:
Sleeping in each day, la la la,

FLOREAN FORTESCUE:
Savoring sundaes, la la la,

HARRY:
All day for fun play, la la la,

HARRY, FLOREAN & TOM
Hi-ho, the Dursley-free life!

(HARRY joins the crowd in front of Quality Quidditch to gape at the 
marvelous Firebolt)

CROWD & HARRY
State-of-the-art broom, la la la,
Diamond hard polish, la la la,
Pinpoint precision, la la la,
Oh how the Firebolt flies!

TOM:
Good old Harry Potter soon congregates with friends,
Herm from France and Ron from Egypt,
They went shopping with each other
Magical Menagerie, to help poor Scabbers mend
Then a kitty, like a tiger,
Greatly did upset






Ron's pet!

HERMIONE:
Ronnie, forgive me today.
My kitty is acting a bit wild.
But, Ronnie, it's really all set--
I'm acquiring Crookshanks, so don't ask, "You bought that?!"
But Scabbers is back now, OK
This feline you can't have reviled?
Don't. 
Ronnie, he's really no threat
I'm acquiring Crookshanks, my beautiful squat cat
Don't argue.

(Cut to the Leaky Cauldron as the Weasleys and guests gather for 
dinner. The twins mess with their Head Boy brother)

FRED AND GEORGE:
Pretentious brother, la la la,
His Head Boy badges, la la la,
Humungous Bighead, la la la,
Hi-ho, let's get him a life!

MOLLY:
King's Cross tomorrow,

ALL:
La la la,

ARTHUR (with feigned casualness):
Two cars we're driving,

ALL:
La la la,

ARTHUR & MOLLY:
MOM's merest favor,

ALL:
La la la,
Hi-ho, the Ministry life.

(Cut to the same scene 30 minutes, later, as HARRY, retrieving 
Scabbers' rat tonic. accidentally overhears ARTHUR & MOLLY)

ARTHUR:
We must tell Harry, la la la,
He's not a child, la la la,
He must be on guard, la la la,
Sirius threatens his life.

MOLLY
The truth is scary, la la la,
He's safe at Hogwarts, la la la,
Albus protects him, la la la,
Sirius can't take his life.

HARRY (to himself)
It could be curtains, la la la,
Darkness is flirtin', la la la,
But I'm assertin', la la la,
Sirius won't take my life 

ARTHUR & MOLLY
It could be curtains, la la la,
Darkness is flirtin', la la la,
This much is certain, la la la,
Sirius won't take his

.

HARRY:

..Life!

   - CMC   


HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm  
(updated 5/20/03 with 52 new filks)