Dumbledore, Leader of Men (and Women) (was: Chapter Discussions: Chapter 4)

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 84001

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "arrowsmithbt" 
<arrowsmithbt at b...> wrote:

> Oh, dear.
> Can we inject a bit of realism in here please?
> Just  what sort of surrogate parent would Sirius be?
> 
>

We have Dumbledore's assessment: "you were coming to 
regard Sirius as a mixture of father and brother."  

In real life, that's a recipe for disaster. There are all sorts of 
workable parenting styles, from strict to permissive, but no 
parent can succeed if there is any confusion about just who is 
the parent and who is the child. 

Harry  keeps having  to parent Sirius, trying to keep him from 
coming back to Britain in GoF, getting between Sirius and Snape 
when they quarrel in OOP, swearing not to use the gift because 
he doesn't want Sirius to do anything foolish.

And Sirius  *is* rash even in GoF: using showy non-native birds 
to send messages to Harry, rushing back to Britain with no clear 
idea of what he'll do when he gets there, breaking into a house 
to use the fireplace (as we learn in OOP, there are alternatives), 
letting himself be seen as a dog in Hogsmeade though, as OOP 
makes clear,  Peter could have outed him at any time, starving 
himself to the point where he'll  eat rats. 

Molly has trouble letting go and respecting the boundaries of her 
adult children. It's telling that all three of her grown sons found 
ways to distance themselves from the Burrow. But Sirius had 
trouble letting go of his own child self, and he could never have 
been a successful parent as long as he wanted to treat Harry as 
a pal.

Pippin