I know Molly.....

[artcase]

No: HPFGUIDX 84216

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "slgazit" <slgazit at s...> wrote:
...big snip for space...

> I also disagree with those calling her "non-working" mother. 
Raising 
> 7 children is more than a full time job. And let's not forget that 
> before going to Hogwarts her kids were at home full time and were 
> almost certainly homeschooled (as I assume all children born to 
> magical parents are). Kind of hard to go out and work at some 
obscure 
> MoM position while running a household of 9 with no house elves to 
do 
> the work for you. So until Ginny went to school, she had to still 
be 
> a full time mom. After that - who can blame her for taking it a bit 
> easy for a few years. 

...more snippage...

> - and Molly is certainly 
> top-notch in the profession she chose. Choosing to focus your 
career 
> on your family is nothing to be ashamed of - and I say this as one 
> who has never been a stay at home mother, but who knows many who 
are.
> 
> > Children need to be taught that both men and women need to work 
> hard 
> > to accomplish their goals.
> 
> And you think Molly does not???
> 
> Salit

In response, I first would like to say that Molly has performed her 
duties as stay at home mom adequately. In fact, I would even venture 
to muster a "good or very good" in her rating. However, to suggest 
that she "deserves a break" is going too far. When does Arthur get a 
break from being both Dad and Breadwinner? On vacation? No. He is 
still Dad. Therefore, no "Mom" should be offered the semblance 
of "break" when it comes to child-raising. Quite frankly, the idea 
that "her job is done" is both false and antiquated. Her job, was 
mother, now she must shift into a different role. The boggart scene 
reinforces my opinion that Molly lives her entire life through her 
family and extended family. That is unhealthy.

I watched my mother change (being the youngest of three) from being a 
part-time stay-at-home mom (she worked part time also) to being an 
empty nest parent and she did not cope well. She was raised during a 
generation that both deified the mother for being the primary care-
giver and vilified them for being sedentary. The perception 
of "taking a break" is unfair to both the woman and the breadwinner, 
and inaccurate. 

Let me re-iterate my sentiment from the prior post. Children, 
especially female children, should be taught that no matter what your 
profession, the only "breaks" you will get are vacations that you 
schedule through your employer (or in the case of the self-employed, 
yourself) and that never changes until you build enough of a nest egg 
or pension to retire, and at that time there will be no parent to 
take care of you. To give them any other message is false. Molly's 
foremost profession as a mother is finalizing (much like a long-term 
project). As in the case of many who choose her profession she will: 
1)choose another project and use her freed time to devote to it, 2) 
putter aimlessly growing frustrated at her state of uselessness until 
it causes a rift in her home life at which time she will be forced to 
re-evaluate her persona, 3) Never realise the project has finalized 
and create sub-projects *such as meddling in her children's 
relationships, or grandchildren's lives* that help her hang on to the 
defunct project. 

I say, two of these scenarios are unhealthy at least and that is the 
difference between my generation and my mother's. I am able to 
recognize the disparity of thought and reason my way through the 
project transitions. (much like men have done for centuries, or to re-
state, like men do until they reach retirement *joke, not all men 
handle retirement in the same fashion*) Currently, I juggle two 
child "projects", a career, hobbies and very part-time school. At 
least I don't have "husband" to add to that list. *just poking fun, 
no malice intended here*  When the child-raising portion is complete, 
I will look forward to happy minor projects of grandchildren (not too 
soon, mind you...) and continue the long-term project of defining and 
redefining who I am and what I know and what I can learn.

So, in conclusion, I stand by my initial opinion that Molly is not an 
accurate portrayal of mothers and is a carboard symbol for what 
JKR "wishes" her life to be. I believe that wish to be delusional and 
am calling her out on the fact, because IMO she should know better. I 
have read that she is a fan of psychology, if so, why can't she 
recognize her own mistakes? AND more importantly, why perpetuate the 
myth to a new generation? It is an injustice to them.

Art