TBAY: The Bill Weasley is Ever So Evil post (1 of 3)

[pippin_999]

No: HPFGUIDX 85635

It's another typical evening in Theory Bay. Erin and George have 
taken a little walk in the woods, stopping before a giant fir tree 
whose top appears to have been blasted by can(n)on fire. 

George speaks:

>>"It's just that, er, you've brought up some good characterization 
points, but what has your Evil!Bill actually *done* ? What makes 
him so evil? Elkins and Pippin have big long lists of the crimes 
ESE!McGonagall and Lupin supposedly committed. And don't 
even get me started on the Magic Dishwasher Defense Team 
(MDDT). They can go on all day about Dumbledore and his 
spies." 

and Erin replies:

"Oh, so you want the evidence I promised you at the beginning? 
Well, you have to keep in mind that ESE!Bill has only recently 
officially come over to the dark side, and that his most 
horrendous acts will be committed in future books. But I think 
that I can come up with a few tidbits," Erin smiles. <<<

There is a slight popping sound, and in the clearing appears a 
small but definitely rotund gentleman of the sort who can only be 
described as "dapper." His face is ornamented by an elegantly 
waxed moustache. 

George blinks. "Hercule Poirot! The famous Belgian detective 
created by Agatha Christie" he adds, in an expository aside.

"You are correct, Monsieur," says Poirot, with his characteristic 
accent. "I have the honour to be the other H. P."

"Madame," he says, bowing to Erin, "Forgive me for intruding, but 
I could not help being intrigued by your conversation. It is a  most 
unusual situation for a detective, you see, to be confronted with  
the *absence* of a crime."

"Yes," said Erin, "but as I was saying, I do have a few tidbits..."

"Then perhaps, Madame, you are aware of  the serious crime 
that has been committed? You are already aware of  the 
unfortunate fate of Sturgis Podmore?"

Erin looks blank. "Who?"

"Sturgis Podmore," says George, "Order member, one of the 
advance guard, square jaw, thick straw-colored hair--"

"Oh, right," says Erin. "He got busted trying to break through a 
high security door at the Ministry and they put him in Azkaban."

"*Exactement*," says Poirot. "And the Lord Voldemort, how did he 
react?"

"He -- He was *happy*, " says Erin slowly. "Harry's scar hurt in 
Umbridge's office, and the next day was when the Trio read 
about Podmore's sentencing in the Daily Prophet. But that 
doesn't make sense, does it? Why would Podmore try to break 
into the Department of Mysteries unless he was a Voldemort 
spy? But if he was a Voldemort spy, why would Voldemort be 
happy that he got caught and sentenced to Azkaban?"

"You are correct, Madame But let us use the little grey cells. Let 
us suppose that   M. Podmore is put under the Imperius curse, 
and attempts to steal the Prophecy while he is on duty for the 
Order. But he is caught breaking in, perhaps because he resists 
the curse. He will know, like M. Bode, that only Voldemort or 
Harry will be able to obtain the prophecy.  We must then ask, 
how did Voldemort learn that Podmore was an agent of 
Dumbledore?"

"Voldemort's got spies in the Ministry," George puts in, " 
although, as a Snape theory, I'm not really supposed to have 
opinions."

"Vraiment," says Poirot with another little bow, "but if the Ministry 
had evidence that Podmore was connected with Dumbledore, 
they would have made sure that the Daily Prophet mentioned it." 

"So you're saying Podmore was betrayed by someone else in 
The Order?" gasps Erin. "It was ESE!Bill! I knew it."

Poirot smiles. "One must endeavor to keep an open mind, 
Madame. There are many hedgehogs in the forest."

Pippin