Azkaban - The Musical (filks)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 82278

These are the first three numbers in a Prisoner of Azkaban musical 
that I'm working on that's based on Lerner and Loewe's Brigadoon, 
that will be titled "Azkaban"  (I'll resist the temptation to call 
it "Azkaboon").  There will be more elaborate stage (or screenplay?) 
directions once I get it complete. 

All Dedicated to Gail B. 

(1) Once on an Island 

To the tune of the Prologue to Lerner & Loewe's Brigadoon

THE SCENE: Before Azkaban Prison. A group of Scottish dementors (we 
know they're Scottish because of the kilts they wear over their 
robes) dance a traditional Azkaban Island fling (i.e, they fling a 
few prisoners into a vat of molten lead)

CHORUS OF DEMENTORS:
Once on an island, an island off Scotland,
A fortress far from the light of day
There from that island, that island off Scotland,
One captive wizard ran away.

And here is what happened,
The strange things that happened,
To two captive wizards who ran away



(2) Azkaban

To the title tune of Brigadoon

THE SCENE: As the Chorus of Dementors sing off-camera, on screen we 
see a large black dog swimming ashore the British mainland.  

CHORUS OF DEMENTORS:
Azkaban, Azkaban,
Guarded under ghostly gowns.
Azkaban, Azkaban,
Let your joy forever drown.
May your soul lay dead within you,
Let your sorrow reign supreme!
Azkaban, Azkaban,
May our nightmares kill your dream!

(The dog transfigures to human shape once he reaches shore. He sinks 
to his knees, makes what appears to be a deeply solemn and somber 
vow, then Apparates to Little Whinging. Resuming canine shape, we 
suddenly find him facing a young 13-year-old wizard dragging a heavy 
trunk and carrying an owl cage. The boy falls over backward in 
shock. From a distance, both boy and canine are alerted  to the 
sound of distant voices. 

(3) Come Ye to the Bus 

To the tune of Vendors' Calls and Down on MacConnachy Square from 
Brigadoon

ERNIE (off-screen):
Come on board our bus!

STAN:
On the Knight Bus!

BOTH:
On the Knight Bus!

FIRST PASSENGER:
Anglesea to Aberdeen
On the bus, laddie!

SECOND PASSENGER:
Climb ye on the bus!

THIRD PASSENGER:
Though the ride may be too harsh
For Ms. Marsh, laddies!

FOURTH PASSENGER:
[echoes THIRD PASSENGER]

ERNIE:
All come aboard!

STAN:
The engine roared!

FIRST & THIRD PASSENGER:
If you're lost or strand
.

MAN:
You can go most anywhere 
With paid fare, laddie!

SECOND & FOURTH PASSENGER:

.just raise your wand hand!

FIRST & THIRD PASSENGER:
(one after the other)
Come and join us!

STAN & ERN:
Come on board our bus!

(Finally, the Knight Bus, with headlights ablazing, comes into the 
view of both HARRY and the dog. The dog bounds away, barking. HARRY, 
somewhat dazed, is taken aboard, as the Bus goes careening off again)

STAN & ERN & CHORUS OF PASSENGERS (joyously):
Come ye, all ye join with us,
On the bus !
Come ye from Portree!
Come from Appleby!
Come Ballycastle,
Come Wimbourne,
Come Tutshill!
Come we with a zoom!
Load your trunk 'n' broom!
Travel anywhere:
Well ere morn
You'll be there 
Down on Diagon's main Square! 

HARRY (aside)
Now having just fled me Privet house,
My prospects looked miserable.
My Auntie Marge did so livid grouse
I turned her dirigible.
An exile's lot would now be mine
I made off for Gringotts' bank
But then into ken a black canine
And this bus with a loud clank.

STAN & ERN
Come we with a zoom!
Load your trunk 'n' broom!
Travel anywhere:
Well ere morn
You'll be there!

CHORUS OF PASSENGERS:
They come with a zoom!
Load your trunk 'n' broom!
Travel anywhere

STAN & ERN
Oh come we with a zoom,
We come with a zoom!
Oh come ye load your trunk an' broom!
Oh hear ye people,
Travel anywhere

CHORUS OF PASSENGERS:
Take Neville there,
Him to the square,
Diagon square
Diagon square

STAN, ERN & CHORUS OF PASSENGERS:
Well ere morn
You'll be there
Down on Diagon's main Square!

(The Knight Bus pulls up in front of the Leaky Cauldron, where 
CORNELIUS FUDGE awaits) 

ERN:
Now we arrive dead spot on 
The Cauldron, Nevvy!

HARRY:
Leaky Cauldron!

FUDGE:
Luckily I've chanced upon 
Lily's son, Harry! 

TOM:
Welcome says the landlord Tom, 
Lily's son, Harry!

FUDGE & TOM:
At last it's calm.
At last it's calm.

STAN, ERN,
We'll just say salaam,
Say salaam!

(Exit The Knight Bus)

HARRY (aside):
I'm thinkin' for sure I'm prison-bound
When Fudge met me at the gate
But now he tells me he doesn't frown
When you make an aunt inflate
But finest of all he says to me 
I'm not from Hogwarts thrown out
Instead, I win open sesame
With Diagon all shone out 

(Segue to the following day – HARRY savors his freedom while all the 
wondrous products of the wizarding world are up for sale)

FIRST CHORUS OF DIAGON MERCHANTS (sung simultaneously with below)
All of ye see our potions brews,
An' all of ye try new robes.
Come see lunascopes in several hues,
An' intergalactic globes.
Come all of ye see amazin' brooms!
A state of the art affair!
Come all of ye see our new costumes!
Come on and see things so rare!
How it soars and zooms!
See the Firebolt broom!

SECOND CHORUS OF DIAGON MERCHANTS (sung simultaneously with above)
Come buy potion brews!
Gossip of the news!
Come buy magic rats.
New textbooks,
Kneazle cats!
Oh come buy gold gobstones,
The gold gobstones!
Oh come see how the Firebolt's flown!
 
HARRY, TOM & CHORUS:
Oh hear ye people,
Hear ye ev'rywhere,
Have a look! 
We are there! 
Down on Diagon's main Square!

       - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm