Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 82806

Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter (OOP, Chap 25)

To the tune of See You Later Alligator by Bill Haley & The Comets

Dedicated to Eric Oppen (who's also filked of Rita)

Hear a MIDI at:

http://svc403.bne025u.server-web.com/midi/aligator.mid

THE SCENE: The Three Broomsticks. HERMIONE, proving that she is as 
adept a conspirator as the most accomplished Slytherin alumni, 
launches a plot to get HARRY's story before the wizarding public.

HARRY:
Well, I came to see ol' Hermy in the Three Broomsticks today
Well, I saw she was with Luna, and the Beetle who's at bay
"What's all this?,"  I had to wonder.
This is what I heard her say:

HERMIONE:
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, help us foil Crabbe & Goyle
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, help us foil Crabbe & Goyle
Do not spill your Margarita, 
Set the Malfoy blood to boil

SKEETER
When I think of what I could say, makes me wanna grab my quill 
You won't like the things I would say, you want DE beans to spill
But The Prophet will not print it.
A pro-Potter piece they'll kill

HERMIONE & LUNA
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, do a scribbler for The Quibbler
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, do a scribbler for The Quibbler
Though it is a bit offbeat-ah, 
And your fee won't be too liberal
.

LUNA
Herm said, I'm sorry little Rita, but you can only write the truth
Herm said, I'm sorry little Rita, but you have gotta write the truth
All your slanders, you'll delete `em 
And add nothing that is uncouth

HERMIONE & LUNA 
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, or it's jail without fail
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, or it's jail without fail
As an Azkaban insider
They'll pay big bucks to hear your tale
.

HERMIONE:
I said take the minutes, Skeeter, you know you haven't any choice
I said take our minutes, Rita, you know you haven't any choice
You'll win Hogwarts as your readers 
When you help Harry gain his voice

HERMIONE, LUNA & HARRY
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, the Dark Lord can't be ignored
Write of Eaters, Rita Skeeter, the Dark Lord can't be ignored
Be once more the top Fleet Street-er
With quill as mighty as the sword!

HERMIONE (spoken): OK, Harry? Ready to tell the public the truth? 
Fire away, then, Rita

.

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm