(FILK) Journalist!

[Gail Bohacek]

No: HPFGUIDX 83472

Journalist!

(A FILK by Gail Bohacek to the tune of _Dentist!_ from the musical _Little 
Shop Of Horrors_)


Midi is here: http://addagirl.com/littleshop.htm


Dedicated to Arcum, Potter-Freak, LSoH Fan and Fellow Filker who gave me 
inspiration and sent this little tid-bit of information: According to 
IMDB.com, Pam Ferris will be playing Aunt Marge in PoA.  Among her other 
credits, she was briefly seen in the movie version of Little Shop of Horrors 
during "Dentist!", namely as Orin's mother (in the photograph)!

And to CMC for helping me with the end bit...thanks a bunch!



Rita Skeeter (Alicia, Katie, Angelina) :


When I was younger and still attending school
There were certain things that I liked to do
Always on the trail for hearing gossip
I'd tattle tale on what they let slip
And people liked to hear me talk when I did
So then I decided

(What you decide?)

I thought, "You know, I think I will
Try to fulfill my desires by using my quill."

I'm a journalist!

(She's a journalist)

I have a talent for stretching the truth

(Truth)

I'm a journalist

(She's a journalist)

I'm writing slander without any proof

(How uncouth!)

Who'd want a job at the Ministry?
And teaching at Hogwarts?  No way!
I know how to enlist
The tricks of my trade

Alicia:
There she is, girls, the leader of the hacks

Katie:
Watch her suck on that quill!  Oh, my stars!

Angelina:
She's a writer and she'll never ever be any good

All Three:

Miss Rita Skeeter has taken this too far
This is false!
That's a lie!

Rita Skeeter:

Aw, who cares?  Tell me more, don't be shy!

I'm a journalist

(Gulpin' gargoyles!)

And it's the dirt which makes news papers sell
I'm a journalist

(Causing turmoil!)

Which is something which I do oh so well!
When I air out your dirty laundry

(She'll do it)

I'll give a new meaning to "paparazzi"

(Journalist!)

And yes, I know what my critics all say

(They say)

Although, I'm told that I write only of shit
I know, *I* know that my readers all love it
'Cause I'm a journalist
With great exposes

(:: Skeeter takes her quill and approaches Alicia, Katie and Angelina ::)

Tell me!

(No!)

Tell ME!

(NOOOOO!)

(:: to audience ::)

Damn it!


-Gail B.

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