Filk: "He's a Nasty Git"

[Kirstini]

No: HPFGUIDX 79542

Decided, with Caius' blessing, to jump on the musical band-wagon 
myself. So here's the first filk from "Harry", a PS musical very 
loosely based on "Annie" (it's going to take me ages to finish it, 
but I thought I'd get in there before anyone else did...)

Scene: The Gryffindor Common Room. Enter the new First Year, fresh 
from a Potions lesson. Harry, Ron, Seamus, Dean, Lavender, Parvati 
and Neville stomp about expressing their frustration at Snape's 
teaching methods. Hermione sits herself down in a corner with a book, 
occasionally muttering "Really, that's a bit immature".
(To the tune of "It's a Hard Knock Life")

HARRY, RON, SEAMUS, DEAN, LAVENDER, PARVATI, NEVILLE:
He's a nasty git to us!
He's a nasty git to us!
HARRY:
'Steada House points,
OTHERS:
We get sneers!
HARRY:
And he gives our Nev
OTHERS:
The fears!
ALL:
He's a nasty git!

None of us can ever win,
`Cos he favours Slytherin!
HARRY:
Draco Malfoy's,
OTHERS:
Top of class!
HARRY:
Even bloody Goyle
OTHERS:
Will pass!
ALL:
He's an unfair git!

RON:
What's the point in completing any homework? 
SEAMUS:
When we know that we'll never get it right?
PARVATI:
Nev, you shouldn't be scared of that mean old berk.
NEVILLE:
Well I do try, but he gives me such a fright!
LAVENDER:
Person'lly I find all that black quite creepy.
DEAN:
He don't care if my Potions av'rage shrinks.
HARRY:
For some reason he really seems to hate me

ALL:
And his dungeon's always got this funny stink!
Oh!

Blooming awful class!
Isn't lawful class!
Don't feel clever class!
And we'll never pass!

HERMIONE (from her corner):
He doesn't teach objectively.
RON:
Stinking biased prat is he!
HERMIONE: 
Neville would be bold as brass
If it weren't for Potions class!

RON throws a (black?)sheet round himself and does his world-famous 
Snape impression. The others (not Hermione) follow him round the 
room, pulling faces behind his back.
RON (spoken): Shut up, Miss Granger. I don't like bossy little know-
it-alls. Wrong again, Finnegan. Longbottom, are you completely 
stupid? You! Potter! What would I get if I added infusion of ashfo 
dillamadiddly to attar of wormyringahoessplot?

NEVILLE: 
Run away! Quickly, escape!
PARVATI (to LAVENDER):
Dare you touch his greasy nape?
SEAMUS (to DEAN): 
Trip him up, stand on his cape!
(RON (spoken): Well, boy? I'm waiting for the answer!)
ALL: 
We don't know, Professor Snape! 

He's a nasty git to us!
He's a nasty git to us!
Worse things never come to pass
Than when we're in his Potions class!
DEAN and SEAMUS:
He's a greasy giiit -
HARRY, NEVILLE and RON:
He's a biased twiiiiit -
HERMIONE, PARVATI and LAVENDER:
He's a nasty giiiiiiiiiiit -
ALL:
To us!