Sirius reservations

[B Arrowsmith]

No: HPFGUIDX 79808

Things have been quiet, my life insurance is fully paid up and no-one 
has rubbished me for, oh, at least a week. I tried checking past posts 
for previous thoughts on these lines, but there's thousands of entries 
for Sirius. No matter. Time to stir up a hornets nest.

I'm really not impressed by Sirius.

I couldn't understand the cries of anguish, the desperate grasping at 
straws, the sense of loss that flowed from keyboards across the globe. 
No, I don't hate him, I found him a distraction; un-necessary padding 
between books 2 and 4 and an intrusion thereafter. But since we're 
stuck with him, and since it appears fashionable at the moment to 
reassess the major characters, let's have a closer look.

The results of a highly scientific survey (incorporating two pieces of 
grubby paper, a Post Office pencil and a trawl through back posts) 
showed a definite, but hardly surprising bias. The overwhelming 
majority (close to 100%, but some list names defied analysis) of the 
mourners were female. Presumably adult female. They obviously find him 
sympathetic; but they are  not the market the book is aimed at. Could 
it be that they have allowed sympathy to out-weigh JKR's plot 
requirements?

To most male fans Sirius is not a sympathetic or credible character, 
not in the same way that Snape or DD or Arthur Weasley is. If they try 
to put themselves in his position it doesn't work. His behaviour  
doesn't tie in with male expectations or projections. Not only that, as 
soon as he appears, so do holes all over the plot.

His account of his escape from Azkaban is more than a bit threadbare.

"So one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past 
them as a dog....it's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions 
that they were confused....I was thin, very thin....thin enough to slip 
through the bars....I swam as a dog back to the mainland....I journeyed 
north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog....I've been 
living in the forest ever since..."

Points to ponder:

Is there any evidence, apart from this passage, that Dementors are 
confused by animal emotions?  Other evidence indicates that they ignore 
animal emotions and concentrate on the human.  The Dementor on the 
Hogwarts Express does not seem in the least confused despite the 
presence of a highly agitated Crookshanks (Neville tries to sit on him 
in the dark). No, the first thing the Azkaban Dementors would sense was 
a lack of Sirius. Or would they? I was under the impression that 
Animagi retain their human intelligence and presumably emotions; isn't 
that the whole point of Animagi? Otherwise transfiguration suffices. So 
why didn't they notice Sirius sliding out the door?

Swim back to the mainland? In that physical condition? The Lexicon 
places Azkaban  in the middle of the North Sea, not Hogwarts lake. It's 
at least 100 miles from shore.

"I journeyed north" (to Hogwarts). OK He might have landed on the 
Scottish coast south of Hogwarts. Note there  is no mention of his side 
trip to Privet Drive (another 500+ miles, there and back). Sirius as  
the 'Grim" is described as 'hulking'. Not thin, skeletal, worn or 
starved. And no, not enough time has elapsed for him to feed himself up 
again.

It is just possible that before the confrontation with Pettigrew or 
while awaiting trial, Sirius heard that Harry had been placed with the 
Dursleys. But why go there? First, foremost and apparently exclusively 
he wanted revenge. It wasn't Harry he moaned about in his sleep at 
nights, it was Pettigrew. Scabbers was the obsession. Why didn't he try 
and find the Weasleys? They are an apparently well known family and 
that's where Scabbers was. If he was going to be heading anywhere 
before Hogwarts it was the Piggery.

Godfather - Godson relationships vary. But Sirius' actions in going to 
Privet Drive are more those of a parent than those of a close, even 
intimate friend of the family. More believable would be an all-out 
effort to knock off Scabbers and then contact Harry to try and explain 
himself, if he had time before recapture.

As an ex-pupil of Hogwarts, why did Sirius think the Fat Lady would 
admit him without the password?

Since when have Animagi been able to communicate with other animals as 
Sirius said he did with Crookshanks? Even as a dog, can he talk cat? 
Hermione is the closest to Crookshanks and she doesn't have this level 
of understanding or communication. How come Sirius does?

"I've been living in the forest ever since.."
Nearly an entire school year. With no problems from Acromantula, 
Centaurs, Werewolves or other friendly forest folk. Hagrid never 
noticed either, despite being the forest expert. Still, it explains his 
gaunt and hairy look.

After the Shrieking Shack fracas the Dementors mass and close in. There 
is Harry, Sirius and Hermione. Sirius passes out, so does Hermione. The 
Dementors ignore them and go for Harry. Why not Sirius? Isn't he the 
one they are implacably hunting? Why Harry? It's almost a repeat  of 
the  Quidditch match incident. Ignore everyone  else, we like the smell 
of Potter!

Hmm. More holes than the local golf course.

Needless to say -  I have a theory. Well, a partial theory. What if 
Sirius is not just an Animagus but also an unwitting catspaw. Maybe he 
was sprung from Azkaban - 'accidentally'  let loose by the influence of 
friends of You-know-who in the Ministry and hotly pursued by Dementors. 
The Ministry instructs Dementors after all. And what  a coincidence! We 
think Black will be around Hogwarts, just where Harry is!   But the 
Dementors have modified orders. Don't worry about Black - Get Potter!
Umbridge must have got her idea from somewhere, she's nasty but hardly 
an original thinker.

Kneasy