Shuffle Off To Hufflepuff (a filk)

[Haggridd]

No: HPFGUIDX 79929

This is a filk of the song "Shuffle off to Buffalo" from the 
musical "Forty-Second Street."


I dedicate this filk to His Royal Filkness Caius Marcius, 
Rex Filkorum.

                   Shuffle Off To Hufflepuff

SCENE:  Dobby has warned Harry that Dolores Umbridge and her 
Inquisitorial Squad are racing to the Room of Requirement to trap 
Dumbledore's Army.  Harry tells everybody to scatter.  For some 
reason Ernie Macmillan, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Hannah Abbot, 
Zacharias Smith and Susan Bones find themselves running away 
together.  There appears to be a disagreement about which course to 
pursue.

ERNIE MACMILLAN: 
Now that the Dragon dung's hit the fan,
The die is cast.

JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY:
We must run and hide as best we can
Pretty darn fast.
Now that Umbridge has come,
We have to keep mum
Until all the danger has passed.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
If we don't begin this journey
We'll be needing an attorney
Let's leave all our stuff.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Mm mm mm...
Off we better shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
Let's go run to the Library,
Madam Pince can't be that scary
We've all had enough.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Ooh ooh ooh!
Off, we'd better shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
The High Inquisitor will catch us 
I hope that I have made that clear.
Her black quill is gonna scratch us 
If we don't hurry out of here.

To the Owlery we must bail,
Even though we have no mail,
We'll just have to bluff.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Ooh!
No, we gotta shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
At the kitchen they won't mind us,
And I'll bet she'll never find us
If we just hang tough.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Mm mm mm...
No, we gotta shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
If we travel at our top speed
We'd get all the way to Hogsmeade;
It won't be that rough.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Ooh ooh ooh!
No, we gotta shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ZACHARIAS SMITH:
Guys, I don't quite understand you.
I will not tell you twice.
She is sure to apprehend you
Unless you all take my advice.

You must follow me to a man.
I've a well thought-out escape plan,
It's not off the cuff.

HANNAH ABBOT, JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY and SUSAN BONES:
Ooh!
No, we better shuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff.

ERNIE MACMILLAN:
Zacharias, how you try us, 
Now we really gotta fly, as 
You're just talking guff. 
So, come on and shuffle
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff

When she knows as much as we know
She'll take ev'ry step to see no
Student lacks of woe. 
Let's escape the scuffle,
Shuffle off to Hufflepuff!

(For all their bickering, the Hufflepuffs seem to have made it back 
to their common room without incident.  Unfortunately, Harry wasn't 
quite so lucky.)

-Haggridd