FILK: You Gotta Have Smarts

[Susan Miller]

No: HPFGUIDX 80116

In the continuing quest to ensure that all the founders get the 
tuneful recognition they deserve, I dedicate Rowena's filk to my 
mentor, Haggridd.

You Gotta Have Smarts!

Here's the midi: http://www.hamienet.com/7082.mid

THE SCENE:

The four founders are arguing about what makes the best Hogwarts 
student. Godric Gryffindor says it's bravery, Helga Hufflepuff 
proposes diligence, Salazar Slyterin wants cunning and guile. But 
Rowena Ravenclaw has something else in mind ....

Rowena:
[Spoken over the musical lead-in]
See guys, that's what I'm talking about. Magic is only one half 
skill, the other half is something else.....something bigger!

{sings}

You've gotta have smarts!
With the sciences and arts.
If you want to be a Ravenclaw plebe
Your IQ must be beyond the charts.

You gotta be wise
Enough to win a Nobel Prize.
When the cards are cut it's you with the ace,
No second place or ties.

If stupidity's your boggart,
Then you're halfway through the door,
If your last name isn't Lockhart
You're the one I'm looking for!
Be at the Tower in an hour.

You gotta be bright
For an Eagle House invite.
Oh it's fine to be a Quidditch jock, too.
The Bronze and the Blue Unite!
But ya gotta read and write.

You must be A-plus
Before becoming one of us.
You must carry that intelligence gene
You better be seen a genius.

You gotta earn praise,
Speak in witty repartes.
The head is better than a gray matter store,
An anchorage for toupees.

If your attic's a bit dusty,
And your belfry's full of fluff,
And your synapses are rusty,
Well, there's always Hufflepuff.
You will be glad you're with the Badger.

You gotta be smart
Put your head before your heart.
Oh it's fine to be impulsive of course,
But that's just a horse without a cart.
First you gotta be smart.

THE FOUR RESUME ARGUING, FADE TO BLACK ....

~ Constance Vigilance