People Should Free All Their Elves (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 80171

People Should Free All Their Elves (GoF, Chap. 14 & 21)

The 10th A!Kedavra filk to the tune of People Will Say We're In Love 
from Rodgers and Hammerstein's  Oklahoma!

Dedicated to Gail "People will say she loves filks" Bohacek

THE SCENE: Gryffindor Commons. HERMIONE impresses Harry & Ron to join 
her in fighting for elvish rights.

HERMIONE
Why do I care that elfish welfare should be advanced?
Why do I fight so all of their rights can be enhanced? 
Here's what we'll do to organize SPEW for lobbyin'
Soon we'll have won the liberation of Dobby's kin


Don't deny them their pay
Don't keep their clothes away
Don't work them on holidays
People should free all their elves.

Don't roll your eyes at me.
You must wear this new badge.
You two bearing this SPEW badge
People will know we love elves!

Let's start correcting things
We can do it all ourselves.
Self-rule our directing brings!
People should free all their elves.

(Segue to Hogwarts Kitchen, where WINKY sets forth the case for 
continued elf-servitude.)

WINKY
I was set free though I'd rather be in my old place
I must oppose the giving of clothes to the elf race
Independence just doesn't make sense to a born serf
You would be kind your own beeswax mind when on our turf.

Don't raise my pay too much
Don't give those jeans to me
Don't keep on demeaning me
People should not free their elves.

Don't bad-mouth Crouch too much
Don't try to elf-coddle 
Dobby's not our role-model
People should not free their elves.
Don't abuse secrecy
Keep butterbeer on shelves
Don't be so gol-darned PC
People should not free their elves!

     - CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
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