Harry's anger (WAS: Percy's letter)

[innermurk]

No: HPFGUIDX 80263

--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, Melanie Black 
<princessmelabela at y...> wrote:
I apologize ahead of time for getting very child development 
orientated here but it is my feild of study and it is what I know the 
best so I will use it as a frame of reference.  I believe that 
Harry's reaction is a very normal reaction for children his own age.  
Child researcher, Piaget, claims that with adolescence comes 
egocentricism.  Basically, egocetricism means that the teenager is 
concerned primarily with his own thoughts and desires, and in 
addition to this, he believes everyone else is primarily concerned 
with him also.  The world revolves around the teenager.  In chapter 
one of OOP we see very clearly that Harry is upset that they 
are "having fun" without him.  He is even more upset that they refuse 
to tell him what is going on.  I
> 
> t is during this chapter that we see the first hint at an arrogant 
Harry come to life:  "Hadn't he, proved himself xcapable of handling 
more than they?  Had they all forgotten what he had done? Hadn't it 
been he who had entered the graveyard and watched Cedric murdered 
then tied to that tombstone and nearly killed?"  (OOP, US, pg. 8).  
> 
>  


I Innermurk add:
I do not believe now, nor ever that Harry has acted arrogantly.

While egocentrism might be coming into play as well, I believe that 
Harry is showing all the classic signs of PTSD (post traumatic stress 
disorder) understandable considering everything he went through at 
the end of his fourth year and before.

In fact Rowling herself seems to tell us this, albeit in her usual 
roundabout way:
"I've said all along that I want Harry to grow up in a realistic way, 
which means hormonal impulses, and it means a whole bunch of 
adolescent angst and anger, actually. Harry's a lot more angry in 
Book 5, which I think is entirely right, given what he's been 
through. It's about time he got angry about how life has dealt him."
http://stacks.msnbc.com/news/928867.asp


But even with classical symptoms of PTSD we have to take into account 
Harry's emotional neglect and development before due to his abuse.

In OoP for maybe the first time in the series, we see Harry getting 
angry. There were times when he lost his temper, and when he felt 
hurt and mad, such as at Malfoy's consistent jibes, Snape's unfair 
treatment, and that unfortunate incident in POA with Aunt Marge, but 
these are all more subconscious reactions rather than an overt 
outburst of any kind from Harry.

What we see in OOP is strong anger at what has happened to him 
followed by, irritability, quick temper, intense hatred, and all the 
negative emotions and connotations that go along with it. Some have 
berated Harry for being arrogant and short tempered, throwing 
tantrums, whining, bullying his friends, and drastically changing, or 
being out of character. 

Actually if you consider Harry's past, along with what just happened 
to him, he is acting in a perfectly normal way. 

First we need to understand why Harry never showed his anger before. 
Harry grew up in an abusive environment. He was physically, mentally, 
and emotionally abused from the very tender age of one. He lived in 
an environment of bullying, neglect and shame. Shame forced on him by 
the Dursleys. He was and is made to feel shameful of his parents, 
especially his father. He is made to feel shameful of himself. No 
value is placed on him as a person. He is made to sleep in a 
cupboard, and wear old hand-me-down clothing that does not, nor ever 
will fit. He will never have a birthday, or a real present, or get 
anything he wants, or that might give him pleasure. He will never 
receive something that can be his, and therefore find some intrinsic 
value. He only receives the minimum of bare essentials to stay alive.

These early years are very important in our social development. This 
is when we begin to form our perceptions of the world around us, and 
our place in it. Harry is taught to be shameful of his very being, 
that he is worthless, and inferior, and that there is something 
basically wrong and uncorrectable about him.

There are two basic patterns that people fall into when they are 
shamed. In the shame-shame cycle, the individual feels shame, then 
are ashamed of that shame, and so forth. They internalize this shame 
and it feeds off itself until the individual develops a self-hate and 
extreme introversion.

Then there is the shame-anger cycle, where the individual feels anger 
about the shame, and shame about the anger. This too feeds on itself 
building up until it terminates in an outburst and anti-social acts.

In the first four books, Harry falls into the first cycle, and 
internalizes everything that happens to him. The Dursleys encourage 
this by punishing him severely every time he acts out, asks 
questions, or tries to participate in their family in any way. 
Reiterating with every year and every lie to hide what they call his 
abnormality that what he is, is unacceptable, shameful, and 
despicable.

We see the evidence of his cyclic tendencies in the first four books. 
Harry wonders that anyone would think him anything other than a boy 
when Hagrid tells him he's a wizard. He is very surprised to hear 
that he is famous and extremely embarrassed by the positive attention 
he receives. He feels that he is unworthy of it. He worries that the 
Sorting hat is going to tell him that it has all been a mistake and 
he must leave. He worries that Snape hates him before he has any 
evidence of the sort. He worries that he will make a fool of himself 
on the broomstick in front of Malfoy. He worries that everything that 
happens around him is his fault.

This is not arrogance, nor a proof that Harry thinks the world 
revolves around him. It is a very normal reaction to his internalized 
feeling of inadequacy in the world. In his mind, everything that 
happens that's wrong, he has somehow brought about, because he is 
fundamentally wrong. Things that happen that are positive are someone 
else's doing since he is unworthy to help the world, despite his 
efforts to try, and he is on his own in anything he does as he is 
unworthy to receive help from any source. He does not believe he 
deserves the fame and admiration that he is receiving.

Harry voices his fears of insufficiency when he gives the following 
reply to Hermione's praise at the end of Book one.

"Harry – you're a great wizard, you know"
"I'm not as good as you," said Harry, very embarrassed, as she let go 
of him. (US hb ed pg 287)

He is never able to take a compliment and internalize it in the same 
way as a negative comment. He always has to fight that instinct that 
has been drilled into him since he was young, that he is wrong, 
deviant, unworthy.

This explains Harry's anxiety to prove himself, not to the wizarding 
world so much as himself, which is an infinitely more difficult task. 
Harry has to tame his demons every single time he faces a new task. 
This is not arrogance, nor fameseeking, but a terrible product of his 
abuse that he is trying to overcome.

When Harry wins his first Quidditch match he feels as though he 
finally did something to deserve the attention he was receiving. But 
that feeling is short lived. Even in his sanctuary, the wizarding 
world, there are those that force that same abuse onto him. 

Snape is a major contributor as he does everything in his power to 
force those old feelings of inadequacy on him during his classes, and 
whenever they interact. Book two sets him back again emotionally, 
when Lockhart instills a deep shame into Harry for his fame, the one 
thing he had that was his. All his inferences that Harry had done 
nothing to deserve it only deepened his feelings of unworthiness. 
When the school suspects someone of wrong doing, Harry immediately 
feels targeted as the culprit, though in most cases the students did 
target him; he is fundamentally wrong, and therefore must be in the 
wrong.

Book three helps to restate to Harry that he is inadequate, as he was 
unable to save Sirius. He is so nervous about himself that he is 
unable to perform the spell that he had the ability to do. When Harry 
realizes he is the one who conjures the patronus, and gains the 
confidence he needs, he does so spectacularly producing a strong and 
effective protection for himself and his friends. 

Book four shows us Harry is still exceedingly embarrassed with 
publicity, and still maintains the shame about his fame. Rita helps 
to deepen that shame by excluding Cedric and bringing about the 
taunting he receives from a lot of the school. He cannot fight this 
any more than he could fight the Dursleys when he was a child, and he 
must internalize the continued abuse to add to his cycle of shame and 
despair.

Everything culminates when Cedric dies, and Harry goes through 
another heightened form of abuse and terror.

Before this event, Harry's reaction to any anger that he might feel 
was to stifle it. To accept that it was, and never try to better 
things or resolve these issues, because he deserved this treatment. 
Even when he's protesting to himself, and his close friends, about 
the treatment he receives, he will never try to amend it on his own. 
He rarely speaks out about his feelings, whatever they are, and his 
outward reactions to things that happen around him, are almost non-
existent.

There are occasions that Harry does show what he's feeling, his 
passion to save the wizarding world, his euphoria at Quidditch, his 
concern for his friends, his fear at the occurrences of evil around 
him, but most of his life is spent locked behind a very stiff poker 
face, giving away nothing of his internal feelings, and asking 
nothing from those around him. In fact, the only emotion that 
consistently brings a reaction from Harry is when he is feeling 
frustrated and unable to do what he knows needs to be done.

Book one illustrates this the night he decides to go for the Stone. 
He totally ignores the comments from both Ron and Hermione as he's 
explaining things to both them and himself. He's pacing, agitated, 
and resolving to go and retrieve the Stone himself. Book three 
illustrates this same point when he is trying to save Sirius, and 
talking to Fudge and later Dumbledore. Book four is when he's most 
vociferous about things, though only to Hermione, when he is faced 
with the tournament, and Ron's abandonment.

All these times, Harry is feeling more frustration than anger. He 
speaks out to Hermione and Ron, sometimes raising his voice, but 
never actually yelling at them. Rather, he yells to them, about the 
things that are bothering him. When he does get angry, such as the 
Firebolt incident, he remains quiet.

The night Voldemort is reborn was the most traumatic one Harry had to 
date. He witnessed the cold blooded murder of his classmate, was 
physically harmed, and almost murdered himself, after a night of more 
mental torture. When he came back to Hogwarts, he was in a 
dissociative state of numb denial, and shock. He never really started 
to deal with these emotions until the summer in book five.

When we first are reacquainted with our hero, he seems immediately 
different. He shows all signs of (PTSD) Post Traumatic Stress 
Disorder. PTSD occurs when individuals experience extreme trauma, 
whether psychological or physical. The disorder interferes with 
trust, emotional closeness, communication, responsible assertiveness, 
and effective problem solving. It causes the person to feel 
irritable, on-guard, easily startled, worried, or anxious; unable to 
relax, socialize, or be intimate without being tense or demanding. 

They could have difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, have 
trouble with nightmares, trauma memories, flashbacks, and experience 
feelings of threat and vague danger. This brings about difficulty 
concentrating, listening, making cooperative decisions, and struggles 
with fear and anger.

Having been victimized and exposed to rage and violence, survivors 
often struggle with intense anger and impulses that usually are 
suppressed by avoiding closeness or by adopting an attitude of 
criticism or dissatisfaction with loved ones and friends. Intimate 
relationships may have episodes of verbal or physical abuse.

In the first weeks and months following the traumatic event, 
survivors often feel an unexpected sense of anger, detachment, or 
anxiety in intimate, family, and friendship relationships.

I've outlined the PTSD symptoms in great detail, because I believe it 
shows why Harry's behavior seemed so out of character, or different 
from what we are used to. His emotions are released outwardly more 
often than inwardly, and for the first time, we see him crying, 
yelling, protesting his treatment, and standing up to his bullies.

He shows all the symptoms having nightmares that encompass both what 
happened this year, and in his past, including his parent's murder. 
He has problems with the flashbacks, and guilt, feeling that he's 
responsible for Cedric's murder. He shows all the symptoms, quite 
honestly, and I'll only detail two more.

The anger, and irritability, disables Harry this year not allowing 
him to think rationally or cooperate with his peers. He shows this 
anger and rashness consistently throughout the year. The trauma and 
stress of the situation he went through jolted him out of the shame 
shame cycle he'd been stuck in and forced him into the anger shame 
cycle. This causes him to go over and over in his mind all those 
things he is made to feel shameful of before, and brings up 
everything in the past for him to feel angry at. All the things he 
went through his first four years at Hogwarts whirled through his 
mind, and he finally was able to feel the anger at these incidents. 
He tells us himself that he mulled over everything the last month 
when he first arrives at Grimmauld Place. His anger toggles between 
being angry at himself and his shame, to being angry with others, 
lashing out at his loved ones, and those closest to him, causing 
difficulties in all his relationships.

To avoid these relationship problems, the survivor needs a strong 
personal support network to cope with PTSD while maintaining or 
rebuilding family and friend relationships with dedication, 
perseverance, hard work and commitment. The participants must share 
their feelings honestly and openly with respect and compassion, while 
infusing playfulness, spontaneity, relaxation, and mutual enjoyment. 
The survivor needs this relationship to serve as an antidote to the 
feelings of isolation, depression, and feelings of guilt, failure and 
alienation.

Harry cannot retaliate against his abusers, and his anger will not 
stay inside him any more. Relationships suffer, and the closest ones 
suffer the most. He therefore lashes out at those closest to him. 
This happens to fall mostly on Hermione. She is the one who is by his 
side, and helping him through. She is, or seems to be, the sole 
pillar of strength, willing to help him during this time. Ron doesn't 
seem to know how to handle Harry's new outbursts, and starts avoiding 
him, remaining uncharacteristically silent during his fights with 
Hermione. Ginny is likewise busy with her dating and hanging out with 
her family, and though she doesn't actively avoid him, she doesn't 
seek him out to spend time with him either. This is not new, as she 
has never been included in his close circle of friends before anyway. 
The Weasleys are all occupied with the Order and their family. Sirius 
is occupied with his own personal demons. Dumbledore is occupied with 
Harry's physical safety and the Order. Everyone else seems to be too 
occupied with Voldemort's return and the problems at Hogwarts to help 
him. And the majority of the school, even some of his dorm mates and 
teachers insinuate that he's lying about his experiences. This drives 
home the shame anger cycle, as if it were Harry's fault all this is 
happening, and that he deserves it.

Even worse, they isolate him, and he is forced to try and deal with 
all these feelings, this guilt, this depression, and this anger on 
his own, with no support system whatsoever. Only in Harry's case, the 
threat and danger are not over, and are very real. This was a very 
dangerous position to put him in. Anger and hatred are Voldemort's 
tools, and Voldemort uses them against Harry and the Order while 
Harry is left fighting this battle against himself trying desperately 
to reach out to others for their belief and trust in order to help 
him believe in his worth.

When Harry finally gets reunited with the only support system he's 
ever known, they treat him as a deviant, suspecting him of 
wrongdoing, telling him he is unaccomplished and unworthy to be 
there. This is done by his further isolation, disregarding his past 
acknowledged accomplishments, disbelief in his statements, locking 
him away with remonstrations for defending himself, and threatening 
alienation from the wizarding world and further isolation. This is 
almost worse than the Dursleys' treatment of him. Just when he needs 
their strength and love the most, they deny it him, albeit 
unintentionally. It doesn't surprise me then, that he reacts with 
anger, and indignation. I'm only surprised it wasn't worse.

Though Dumbledore shows his understanding at the end of OoP for 
Harry's behavior, he absents himself from helping and supporting 
Harry through the immediate need, causing it to seem as if Hermione 
alone understands Harry's need to yell, to fear, to cry, to be 
believed. She responds to him as she has always done. She supports 
him through everything, enduring his yelling and anger, his 
irrationality, and rash behaviors, with little to no protest. 

She understands that he needs her, and her confidence in him to get 
through, and she instills in him that confidence at every chance she 
gets: at the first when she tells him she understands that he's angry 
and that he has a right to be; when she constantly reassures him that 
she believes him, and he's in the right; when he feels the need to 
rebel against Umbridge and her restrictions; when he makes irrational 
and dangerous plans to help others; and when he feels inadequate with 
Cho.

He is free to follow these outbursts and yells when things go wrong 
in his life. He yells about no one recognizing his accomplishments, 
his feelings of isolation, his frustration at not being able to do 
anything, no one believing him, and everything going wrong. He yells 
more to release these deep seated fears of others being right, that 
he is the one in the wrong, and the one causing and deserving all the 
problems, than because he's angry with someone. 

About half of all PTSD cases will go within six months of the events, 
while others can drag on for years and can dominate the sufferer's 
life, sometimes deepening into depressions and mania.

Harry has proven he is strong. He faces a man's burden, and does it 
with honor, every time he faces Voldemort. But he faces more 
difficult things within himself everyday. 

He has now suffered yet another traumatic event with Sirius' death. 
His feelings of failure and guilt will be triple what they were last 
year. He desperately needs that network of support now. Let's hope 
that Dumbledore will understand and give it to him. 

Innermurk