James (a filk)

[Haggridd]

No: HPFGUIDX 80949

This is a filk of the song "Dames" from the musical "Forty-Second Street."

I dedicate this filk to Caius Marcius, whose ultimate talent and craft
ever relegate my skills to the ranks of "penultimate."

                 James
SCENE:  Harry has learned some new and uncomfortable information about
his father.  His question below is posed in turn to two of his
father's classmates at Hogwarts, Severus Snape and Sirius Black, with
rather different answers.
 
HARRY:
Who was my father, really,
Who fought against the Foe? 
No one says, so I don't know. 
Is he the handsome hero,
As ev'rybody claims?
But I don't care if he is or not,
Just want to learn a lot `bout James!

SEVERUS SNAPE:
Why be offensive, 
Look in my Pensieve? 
Tell the truth 
He was all brag and swaggering, James.
Do snoop extensive; 
Be comprehensive. 
Learn all you can `bout 
Drunk and staggering James.
Oh! James played nasty tricks and games on me.
James, the one that Lily blames,
Not me!

But his excesses
Clearly distresses,
Anyone of us who ran afoul of your James.

HARRY:
Sorry to bother, 
But he's my father. 
Tell the truth 
I need to find out all about James.
You're still resenting
All the tormenting
At the hands of Sirius 
And his blood brother, James.
Oh! James is where your envy aims, Snivelly?
James, who dated all the dames,
Didn't he? 



SIRIUS: 
How nice to show up,
But please don't blow up 
Tell the truth 
He was an adolescent, was James.
He was a young pup,
But he did grow up 
Into one great Auror, 
Incandescent was James.
Your father James 
Brings honors wealth and fames to you.
James, you only know his names,
Do you? 

SIRIUS:
Proud and all, Harry, 
Ever contrarv,
He played Chaser, and a varsity letter had-
And never really was a cad.
No son could have a better dad. 
James, James, James, James, 
James, James, James, James-
James!


-Haggridd