Hooray for Lovegood/There’s A Blockade Set Down (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 81162

Hooray for Lovegood/There's A Blockade Set Down (OOP, Chap. 26)

To the tune of Hooray for Hapgood & There's a Parade in Town from 
Sondheim's Anyone Can Whistle

Dedicated to Sondheim fan Roxanne

THE SCENE: The Great Hall. THE TRIO et al. sing the praises of Luna's 
father after HARRY's interview appears on the cover of the March 1996 
issue of The Quibbler.  

THE TRIO, LUNA, FRED & GEORGE (joined by an ever-growing chorus of 
Gryffindor, Ravenclaw & Hufflepuff students)
Hooray for Lovegood,
Just as Luna/I had hinted
Quibbler newly printed's
Out today!...

Hooray for Lovegood,
Learn the facts from Lovegood,
Dark Lord is back says Lovegood,
So are Snorkacks says Lovegood!

You won't be unswayed by Lovegood!
The truth is conveyed by Lovegood!
The Quibbler wins fame for Lovegood!
Harry gives names to Lovegood!
Find all the keys in Lovegood!
Learn of DEs from Lovegood!

(All of this hubbub alerts PROF. UMBRIDGE, who quickly determines 
that HARRY is the source of this disturbance)

UMBRIDGE:
Huh?... Hey!... What!...Students!...
I see crowds, I hear cries
In a cascade of sound!
I see owls, I hear lies
There's a charade around.
You spoke fibs to mislead,
No more trips to Hogsmeade,
I'll make Harry Potter
Use my quill to write lines 
Did you dare? Make no plea!
Oh, how dismayed my frown!
Well, you're out of line, you think you're sneaky,
Our school is betrayed.
You can't evade or go around me 
For I will not be disobeyed!
So!... Ha!...

(Exit UMBRIDGE. All Students take out their copies of The Quibbler)

CHORUS OF GRYFFINDOR STUDENTS
Lovegood has an interview by Skeeter,

CHORUS OF RAVENCLAW STUDENTS
Harry met the Death Eaters,
He tells Rita!

CHORUS OF HUFFLEPUFF STUDENTS
This lays all the facts out for the reader.

(Re-Enter UMBRIDGE, who puts Educational Decree #27 on very public 
display. Students immediately make their Quibblers vanish)

CHORUS OF SLYTHERINS 
Though what Potter says makes us enraged
We now can't admit we've read a page

UMBRIDGE:
I see red, now hear this
There's a blockade set down.
I tell you, sir and miss
Let no Quibbler be found!
My decree's on the wall,
Any Quibbling at all
I will send you packing,
Toss your butt out the door.
Do not read! Do not keep!
I'll send my brigade around
Do not dare to flout me!
Or my blockade slink `round
'Cause I'm so obsessed
I protest that each Quibbler I'll fry.
Now that I have posted these decrees
You will not dare defy!

(Exit UMBRIDGE. As soon as the students are convinced that she has 
actually left, everyone Un-vanishes their Quibbler and resumes 
reading it avidly. Iris out on HERMIONE, giving the thumbs up sign. )

- CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm