S.P.T. (filk)

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 81216

S.P.T. (OOP, Chap 34-35)

To the tune of Do Re Mi, from Rodgers and Hammerstein's The Sound of 
Music

Dedicated to Maria

THE SCENE: The Department of Mysteries. Row 97. The Six find no trace 
of SIRIUS, but do find a dusty sphere with the cryptic inscription 
S.P.T. to A.P.W.B.D.

NEVILLE
We came in the very front entrance
So very like Maxwell Smart

LUNA
With the thestrals we reached the Ministry
 
GINNY
On this floor, we lurk through the Mysteries

ALL
Ministry's
Mysteries

RON
Upon this sphere I happen to see
S.P.T. 

ALL
S.P.T.

S.P.T. what could it all

?
 
HARRY (spoken)
Let's see if we can't figure this all out
.

(music)
S - Oh, yes, an SOS
P - The place of which I've dreamed
T - To which we six all came
A - But absent Black now seems
P - This puzzle is unclear
W - What, where and why?
B -  Ron spies a glass ball sphere
That's engraved with "D" Dark Lord's name & mine
..

(HERMIONE) & THE OTHER FOUR
(S)- Oh, yes, an SOS
(P) - The place of which you've dreamed
(T)- To which we six all came
(A) - But absent Black now seems
(P) - This puzzle is unclear
(W) - Was, when and were?
(B) -  Ron spies a glass ball sphere
That's engraved with "D" Dark Lord's



(Suddenly a legion of DEATH EATERS appears, led by LUCIUS MALFOY)

LUCIUS:
S - Oh dear, you're SOL
P - Just as the Dark Lord planned

DOLOHOV & ROOKWOOD
T - trapped here with our cruel gang
A - Direct from Azkaban

BELLATRIX:
P - The widdle Potter wad 
W – Won't feel well

CHORUS OF DEATH EATERS
B – If he finds out we're bad
You must bid "D" sphere farewell! 
Now give the sphere to us right now!
Right now!

LUCIUS (spoken):  
Now children, simply hand over the prophecy and no one need get 
hurt.  We'll just let you skip off home. 

(BELLATRIX moves as if to grab for it)

(to BELLATRIX) No! No! If you let it smash. WAIT UNTIL WE'VE GOT THE 
PROPHECY!

HARRY (music) 
What's this `bout a prophecy? 

BELLATRIX (spoken):
You jest, Harry Potter.  

HARRY (music) 
Voldemort wants it badly?  

BELLATRIX: (music)
You dare speak his name to me?

HARRY 
Right down to the silent "T!"
 
LUCIUS (to HARRY, incredulously delighted)
Now I've put it all together

(music)
Dumbledore chose not to share
How you got that scar you bear! 
 
BELLATRIX (spoken):
So he doesn't know anything...

HERMIONE (aside, spoken):
So they put them in spheres, 
One sphere for ev'ry prophecy:

LUCIUS: 
Do not make a sudden move  
Till the sphere has been removed!
 
HARRY (aside, to DA)
When I make a sudden cry  
Smash each shelf that stands nearby.

(THE DA AND the DEs rev up for Battle)

HERMIONE
S - A cry of Stupefy

HARRY
P - Protego, protect me!

DOLOHOV
T - Tarantallegra!

BELLATRIX
A - Accio Prophecy!

HARRY
P - Petrificus, work fast! (spoken) NOW!

(The DA fire their wands at the shelves, creating an avalanche of 
falling glass)

NEVILLE
W – What's on the floor?

THE SIX
B - Reducto made a blast
So let's now run for "D" doors
.

(THE DA runs for it, inadvertently splitting into two groups)

HARRY, HERMIONE & NEVILLE (looking for the others, they are attacked 
by a DE in the Time Room)
They must have gone the wrong way

(They Stupefy the Death Eater, causing him some chronological havoc)

Death Eating  is child's play!

BABY-HEADED DEATH-EATER (babbling acronyms)
DADA DADA MOM MOM
MOM DADA DADA MOM
DADA DADA MOM MOM
MOM DADA DADA MOM

.

(HERMIONE is rendered unconscious. BELLATRIX begins torturing 
NEVILLE.)

BELLATRIX:
When your friend gets Crucio'd 
That sphere you will soon unload 

(HARRY is about to hand over the sphere when six Members of the 
Order, including Dumbledore, arrive, and begin subduing the Death 
Eaters )

SIRIUS & SHACKLEBOLT
S - We're here the day to save
P - the New Phoenix Order  

TONKS & LUPIN
T - It's Tonks and Lupin too

DUMBLEDORE AND MOODY
A - Albus and Alastor 

ALL OOP (except SIRIUS)
P – Let's Eaters pulverize 
W - You know with what

(All the DEs are neutralized, save only BELLATRIX, who duels with 
SIRIUS)

B – Black makes them realize
That "D" case has now been shut. 
And we'll now see Black beat
..

BELLATRIX:
See how the Animagus dies!

(BELLATRIX blasts SIRIUS through the veil)

HARRY (screaming)
No!

(BELLATRIX laughs triumphantly. BLACK-out)

   -	CMC (if you have to die, die to something that sounds 
cheerful)

HARRY POTTER FILKS
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