Pets-U-Like (was Re: The Phoenix and the Snowy Owl)

[jwcpgh]

No: HPFGUIDX 81577

Laura:

Now Kneasy, you're not going all sentimental on us, are you?  I can't 
tell which you like less, animals or humans...<bg>


Just in case you haven't already read it, Kneasy's post is here-
perhaps you'd like soda and a twist with  your bile...


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, B Arrowsmith 
<arrowsmithbt at b...> wrote:
> Fawkes.
> That's it, is it? The promised  new pet for Harry will be Fawkes.
> How boring. Boring, predictable and therefore, to my mind, suspect.
> Come on! Stretch your imaginations a bit. Be inventive.
> How can you expect to second-guess JKR without a bit of lateral 
> thinking?
> OK, let's view the field for possibilities.
> 
> Not  all that many runners, especially  if you rule out another owl 
> (Pig, Errol, Hermes). What would he want another for? No  reason, 
> unless his eventual career is to form the  WW equivalent of UPS.
> For all the fuss about owls, cats, toads in PS/SS, the menagerie is 
> remarkably bare.
> 
> That bloody cat, now. Or part cat, part kneasle, could be useful. 
If 
> Hermione finally succumbs to a rampaging mob of pissed-off Elves 
who 
> finally realise that, like many politicised idealists, Hermione has 
> absolutely no intention of  listening to the views of the minority 
she 
> so resolutely patronises, Crookshanks could leech onto Harry. 
Kneasles, 
> so we're  told, can always tell friend from enemy and always find 
their 
> way home. Hmm. Useful, under some circumstances, but there could be 
> drawbacks. For one, Hermione is  such a busybody that it'd be like 
her 
> to join the Ghost Gang instead of progressing to her tooth-flossing 
> final repose. Another Moaning Myrtle, intent  on making sure Harry 
> sticks to the straight and narrow, backed up by a smug moggy with a 
> face like  pushed-in tomato. Hectoring Hermione and her  furry 
friend. 
> Not much appeal there.
> 
> Hagrid is bound to cop it in the neck sooner or later, agreed?  So 
> who'll take Fang? Wouldn't recommend Grawp, he'd think he was 
lunch. 
> Lovely, friendly animal (Fang, not Grawp), drools at one end and 
wags 
> at the other. Knows his way around the Dark Forest and a damn good 
> early warning system - when he runs away, follow him - fast; 
something  
> nasty is coming. Mind you, he can be brave. He tried to help Hagrid 
> when Umbridge was handing  out severance slips in her own 
inimitable 
> manner.  Be a lot of fun at the Dursleys too;  Vernon blowing blood 
> vessels twice daily.
> Every boy should have a dog, and since Harry's lost Sirius, Fang'd 
make 
> a good replacement; better tempered, just as affectionate, probably 
> more intelligent.
> 
> What about  Trevor? Anyone  seen  him lately? Begetter of all 
sorts  of 
> theories way back when, but he seems to be failing to keep up with 
the 
> plot. The thing is, Neville is getting more self-confident,  
> blossoming, you might say. And sticking your head above the parapet 
is 
> very definitely the wrong thing to do when Voldy is having one of 
his 
> nasty turns. Might be the last thing you do. Some-one should warn 
him, 
> or Trevor will be looking for a new billet. Hedwig won't mind. Owls 
> love frogs and toads. Of course, it's a different toad each time, 
but 
> it's not Hedwig's fault he has a healthy appetite. It's a miracle 
> Trevor's lasted this long at Hogwarts with all the avian predators 
> swooping around the place. Is  this why he keeps disappearing? Poor 
> bugger. Probably hiding in one of  the bathrooms for the duration. 
> Can't even escape to the lake; if the squid doesn't get him the 
> Merpeople'll have him on a half shell, sprinkled with a piquant 
garnish 
> before you can say 'sushi'. Unless, of course,  the old theories 
come 
> to pass; TOADMASTER I & II would be a nice surprise for the next 
book. 
> He must do something, he was introduced way back at the beginning. 
The 
> immediate thought was "Ah! Magic TOADstools! I still have hopes 
he'll 
> get an intestinal upset and the products turn out to be a 
> Bella-repellant.
> 
> We can rule  out Buckbeak. Apart from the fact that there's still a 
> valid death warrant extant, he's not really domesticated. Can't see 
him 
> going down well with Petunia, house-proud as she is. Cleaning out 
the 
> bird cage will take on a whole new dimension; shoving him out of 
the 
> bedroom window to  exercise would take some muscle, too. Harry 
would 
> soon have to answer some awkward questions about the sudden decline 
in 
> small animals around Privet Drive. Expect complaints from Mrs Figg 
when 
> she finds feathers and hoof-prints where her cats used to be.
> 
> Then there's everybody's favourite, Fawkes. Mobile field hospital, 
> people carrier, Basilisk blinder, etc. etc. I'm against  this on  
> principle. Much too useful, much too powerful. Too  much  of  a 
trump 
> card for Harry. The little toe-rag is supposed to suffer, not win 
in a 
> stroll.  Fawkes has had his purple passage, as deus ex machina in 
CoS. 
> Can't use  him in a major role again, too much like rewinding the 
plot. 
> No, when Dumbledore finally gets the Black Spot and we get the 
> obligatory death scene, Harry with tears in his  eyes, on his knees 
> beside a stricken Dumbledore who brokenly whispers some maudlin 
last 
> words carefully calculated to pluck the heart strings, I hope 
Fawkes 
> flies up, bursts into flame, and a wind gets  up and disperses the 
> ashes so he can't be re-born again. Much better, more suited to an 
epic 
> tale. Where's the satisfaction in him being passed on like Grandads 
> watch?
> 
> That's about it, for the current crop. JKR could decide to 
introduce 
> something new, wouldn't put it past her. Wind  us up again. I've 
been 
> flipping through FBaWTFT; can't see any obvious suspects.
> One thing's for sure though, it'll be *very* interesting if Harry 
> drowsily wakes one morning to a Parceltongue whisper of "A friend 
sent 
> me. I'm your  new pet. Just for a while."
> 
> Kneasy