[HPforGrownups] What I have a hard time with in the canon...

[Shaun Hately]

No: HPFGUIDX 96255

On 17 Apr 2004 at 20:24, daled7350 wrote:

> Has this been addressed, and has someone come up with a satisfying 
> answer as to why, according to the canon, it didn't happen? 
> 
> To me, believing in house-eleves is NOTHING compared to THIS 
> plothole.

I don't think it's a plothole, Dale.

I was abused as a child - not in the same way Harry was neglected, 
by any means, but it did happen, and as a result of that, I've had 
a fair exposure to the research on abuse, and also to other people 
who were abused. I've been a volunteer counselor and mentor to kids 
and teens for around a decade. I've worked with a lot of kids with 
a lot of different issues - I've tended to concentrate on 
giftedness, and the victims of bullying, but I've had some dealings 
with other issues, including abuse and neglect.

And what I think it important for people to realise is that most 
characteristics of abused or neglected children are 
generalisations.

While I agree with the basic thrust of what you are saying, in that 
I would say *MOST* children with experiences similar to those of 
Harry would be severely 'damaged' by the time they reached the age 
of 11, and *MOST* children with those experiences would have a very 
hard time making friends - it's not *ALL* children. There is a 
*huge* difference between *MOST* and *ALL*. Some kids can endure 
incredible emotional abuse and come out of it more or less 
undamaged. A larger number wind up with fairly minor problem. Yes, 
many have *very* serious problems - but by no means all.

I think Harry is just one of the lucky one - for whatever reason, 
he hasn't been as badly damaged by his experiences as many are. Is 
it unusual? Sure. Is it unrealistic? No. I've known people who 
suffered severe emotional neglect as children - and some of them 
have turned out OK.

I don't want to go into any real details about that - but from the 
age of 13, I was in counselling for severe emotional trauma - while 
in my case, it had only been for about a year, some of the other 
kids in thr group counselling with me had far longer term problems. 
Some were - well, horrifically damaged. Others weren't. Please 
understand that some people can endure these things and survive 
them quite well. It's really bad for some abused or neglected 
children when people assume they *MUST* be damaged because of what 
they experienced. Obviously a lot are - but not all.

Harry seems to have come through it pretty well. That's lucky. Very 
lucky. But it happens.

And while, you're correct that *many* children face being taunted 
because they are different (I did - and it did harm me) it's not 
universal. There are schools where it doesn't happen. We don't know 
much about Harry's primary schooling - but it's not inevitable that 
other children added to what he was already enduring.


Yours Without Wax, Dreadnought
Shaun Hately | www.alphalink.com.au/~drednort/thelab.html
(ISTJ)       | drednort at alphalink.com.au | ICQ: 6898200 
"You know the very powerful and the very stupid have one
thing in common. They don't alter their views to fit the 
facts. They alter the facts to fit the views. Which can be 
uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that 
need altering." The Doctor - Doctor Who: The Face of Evil
Where am I: Frankston, Victoria, Australia