Draco's nature (long!)

[Kate Harding]

No: HPFGUIDX 110458

SSSusan said:
I think you're right that Draco is frightened of his father and
probably somewhat miserable, but I don't see how you can conclude
that his life has been *loveless*.

Then Alla said:
Definitely Sussan. I am with you on this one too. Could anybody show
me ONE example from the books where we can see or at least infer that
Draco is not loved?

Then DuffyPoo said:
I've never seen Draco in this light at all.  I think he comes from a very 
priviledge background.  A loving, wealthy family as pure-blood as they come 
and gets away with everything (quite like Dudley) with perhaps a little 
scolding for being indiscreet.


Now psyche:
Wow! I'm definitely in the minority on this one. I'd better argue my case!

There is limited evidence in the books for the nature of these 
relationships, and partly my gut feeling on the subject comes from Draco's 
own behaviour. That, of course, is not much help here, as I'm trying to 
argue the causes of his personality, not the result. But I don't think 
Draco acts like someone who has received real love. Neither does Dudley, 
IMO. I'll have a look at that at the end, though - first I'd better look at 
whatever evidence there is in the books about his parents.

Firstly, Narcissa. We have so little information on her. I can only think 
of 4 pieces:
1. Her name.
2. Her brief appearance at the QWC, where she did little but sneer.
3. The overheard conversation on the train, where Draco said that he would 
have gone to Durmstrang but his mother wanted him close.
4. Her family tree - she's a Black.

All that 3. tells us, I think, is that she's a snob, and we could have 
guessed that. Similarly, 4. gives us limited information, because we know 
that in the Potterverse your genetics have limited influence - Lily and 
Petunia are worlds apart. 2. is more promising. We *might* infer from the 
fact that she wants him close that she loves him. But I don't think that's 
a safe assumption. This could as easily fit with neurotic controlling. She 
might think of him as a prize possession to be shown off, or as a familial 
servant at her beck and call - for either reason she'd want him close. She 
might be obsessed with him, which is definitely not the same as love. So I 
don't believe this is actual evidence of love.

I think her name is by far the best piece of evidence we have on her, since 
in the Potterverse names are almost always of immense significance. And 
what her name tells us is that her primary traits are vanity and 
self-obsession. This does not make for healthy maternal love. In fact, 
there's a personality disorder called narcissism, named for the same myth 
(man so obsessed with his own beauty that he can't tear himself away from 
his reflection in the pool and is turned into a flower overhanging it) - 
have a look here 
http://groups.msn.com/NARCISSISTICPERSONALITYDISORDER/links6.msnw for 
information - which is infamous for its disastrous effects on the children 
of sufferers. (I did psych at Uni and now work for the Tavistock Clinic, a 
mental health organisation). Now I'm not saying that Jo was thinking of 
this disorder when she wrote Narcissa, I'm just trying to demonstrate how 
incompatible self-obsession is with genuine, selfless, nurturing love.

So, to sum up on Narcissa, I believe she may be obsessed with Draco, but 
that obsession is all about her.

OK, Lucius. Let's see what we've got.
Much more evidence here.

1. Lucius is cold.
Overall, the thing that strikes me about Lucius is his intense coldness. 
Even his colouring is cold. The word cold is repeatedly used in describing 
him, his eyes, his tone, his gaze. I simply can't imagine this man showing 
any affection to anyone.
2. He buys Draco a lot of stuff.
This is no evidence of love. In fact, parents who buy their children excess 
amounts of stuff often do it as a *substitute* for love. Look at the 
exchange in Knockturn Alley. This to me looks like Lucius trying to shut 
Draco up with a racing broom. Furthermore, I believe Lucius' overblown 
provision for his son has more to do with his pride than with love. In 
Flourish and Blotts he says to Ginny, 'Here girl - take your book - it's 
the best your father can give you -'. Note that throughout the series most 
of his insults are connected to money, namely to how little of it others 
have, and how much more he has than they do. I believe he spends so much 
money on Draco because to him it's one more way to show off his cash, one 
more thing that Malfoys have which others don't.
3. He doesn't listen.
In Knockturn Alley, Draco is banging on about Hermione. Lucius' response is 
'You have told me this at least half a dozen times already.' While Draco is 
talking and talking, Lucius' attention is elsewhere. he's drumming his 
fingers, waiting for the shopkeeper, looking at the display. He is not 
focused on Draco. Now this is understandable behaviour for a parent with a 
screaming toddler. At that age, sometimes all you can do is let them cry it 
out. But by Draco's age... From this interaction I get the impression that 
Lucius didn't listen to these complaints the *first* time, and that's why 
Draco's still banging on. Lucius gives the impression that he is simply not 
interested in his son's thoughts and feelings.
4. He overreacts.
QV Buckbeak. When Draco told Lucius about the Buckbeak incident, he 
completely overreacted. I don''t think we can take this as evidence of 
love. It may be that Narcissa went hysterical and insisted the animal be 
killed. It may be that Lucius' motive was to demonstrate once again that 
noone will be allowed to mess with the Malfoys.
5. Nothing is ever good enough.
'I hope my son will amount to more than a thief or a plunderer... though if 
his school marks don't pick up,' said Mr Malfoy, more coldly still, 'that 
may indeed be all he is fit for.' The subtext - Draco doesn't meet Lucius' 
exacting criteria for his son - he is a disappointment. If there were real 
love there, you could imagine such a remark being made jokily, with warmth. 
You could even understand a parent might snap - teenagers can be 
exasperating. But so coldly, in all seriousness, in front of a stranger - 
that's not a loving thing to do to your son.

OK. What does Draco's behaviour tell us about his parents?
1. He is spoilt
He gets everything he wants materially, and he still wants more. That kind 
of hunger suggests to me an attempt to compensate for a lack of genuine 
love and interest.
2. He is cowardly
Which could suggest that he's never experience any actual physical danger, 
or that he's experienced a lot of it in a situation where he was powerless. 
So he may be an abused boy, or, more likely, physically pampered but 
emotionally neglected.
3. He is lazy.
Rather than work at his Quidditch skills, he bought his way onto the team. 
He hasn't been given the confidence in his own abilities to think he could 
get there on merit. Which means he's been habitually bought off, instead of 
praised and encouraged.
4. He is jealous and vindictive, proud and bullying
Someone who spends so much time trying to make others feel small generally 
has been made to feel small at home. Genuine parental love creates a 
feeling of security in a child, of their own self-worth. Draco behaves like 
someone who is entirely lacking in this. The smallest insult must be 
avenged. He must win at everything.
5. 'Father says...'
He's constantly quoting or referring to his father. Which suggests to me a 
complete lack of faith in himself. He's not been made to feel that he 
himself has anything to offer. In an environment where the parent is never 
wrong and the child can't do anything right, the safest strategy for a 
child is to try to conform to the parent's expectations as much as possible 
- the parent becomes god.

I think Draco and Dudley make an interesting comparison. Dudley, like 
Draco, is cruel and bullying. Dudley, we know, has been doted on all his 
life. But I don't consider that authentic parental love. Adoration does not 
make for healthy children. Genuine parental love, to my mind, loves a child 
as they are, but *sees* them as they are, and seeing that, wants to help 
them grow to be a fine young person. It requires gentle, loving correction 
when they misbehave and plenty of loving praise when they do well. If 
either is missing, IMO that's not a healthy environment. The Dursleys have 
always seen Dudley as perfect, however obnoxious his behaviour. The lesson 
that has taught him is that his obnoxious behaviour is good and loveable. 
Or perhaps that it doesn't matter how bad he is, his parents simply don't 
care what kind of person he is - he's what John Holt would call a love object.

We can't be sure from the text whether Draco is doted on or neglected at 
home, but I'm sure it's one or the other - IMO probably both, with 
obsessive doting from Narcissa and neglect from Lucius. He is missing all 
the signs of a child who has received healthy parental love. Instead I get 
the impression of a child who has been alternately spoilt and blamed, until 
he has no idea which way is morally up.

Phew! Hope that made sense - it was written in something of a hurry.

psyche

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