LV never loved anyone

[delwynmarch]

No: HPFGUIDX 110518


SSSusan wrote :
"Especially once he was at Hogwarts, affection, friendship, loving
relationships were likely all around Tom, being modeled for him."

Del replies :
Do you really think so ???
Look around Harry in PS/SS : what loving relationships do you see ??
Percy and the Twins are constantly fighting, and they keep berating
Ron in between their rows, Hermione is constantly bossing other people
around, Ron always agrees with everyone to avoid trouble. What would
Tom have learned from them ? From Percy, the Twins and Hermione, he
would have learned that loving people is forcing them to be what you
want them to be, and from Ron he would have learned that loving
someone means always agreeing with them. Contradictory, and most
importantly WRONG, terribly wrong. Because combined to his lust for
power, Tom would have applied this in 2 ways : I love you so I'll
force you to do what I want, and if you love me you'll agree with me.

And after all, look at how Harry's relationship with his 2 best
friends really started. Ron became his friend after Harry showed
compassion on him, and Hermione became their friend after the boys
risked their lives to save hers. 2 things that Tom simply wouldn't
have known to do. It's a vicious cycle : he would not have known how
to make real friends because he didn't know how to love, which in turn
would have prevented him from learning about real love from his true
friends.

SSSusan wrote :
"I don't think comparing learning to love to learning languages is
necessarily a good correllary, but even if it is, I'd say the
opportunity was still there for Tom, just as I can learn German at 
age 42 if I choose."

Del replies :
Yes, but if you'd never heard anyone talking and you'd never talked
yourself until you turned 11, chances are that you'd have a *really*
hard time understanding people when they talk, and it would be near
impossible for you to ever learn to talk properly.

I, Del, wrote :
"some children will be able to love even though they weren't loved,
but some others won't."

SSSusan answered :
"Precisely.  And as yet, we do not know into which of these categories 
 Tom falls."

Del replies :
We do have a hint : Tom never loved. If love is there, it will always
find an object to love. But Tom never loved.

SSSusan wrote :
"*Saying* no one has to behave according to "the system" doesn't mean 
it's so--or else society breaks down and there is anarchy."

Del replies :
There's a big difference between believing and behaving. Yes Tom must
behave between the limits of the law. Note that I didn't say the
limits of morality, only the limits of the law. But he does *not* have
to believe in the general morality.

SSSusan wrote : 
"I truly believe that by the time he was a teenager, if not before, he 
understood the mores, the values; saw the modeling of love, devotion 
& friendship; and chose his own path.  "

Del replies :
Not necessarily. He might just have seen the laws that regulate human
behaviour. "If I do something for him, he will have to do something
for me." "If I pretend to agree with her, she will grant me favours."
"If I let stupid little Ginny tell me all of her stupid little
problems and I pretend to be interested, she'll pour more and more of
her soul into me and I'll get more and more powerful." Ginny mistook
for friendship and compassion what was cold, cruel, criminally selfish
behaviour. Harry mistook for help and valuable information what was
just a trap and a lie. Tom never cared about anyone : not Hagrid, not
Ginny, not Harry, but he was able to masterfully pretend to care for
them in order to serve his own purposes. Tom perfectly understood the
"hows" of human relationships, but he never even began to understand
the "why" : love.

SSSusan wrote, quoting JKR :
"Voldemort took wrong choices from a very early age - he decided 
young what he wanted to be."

Del replies :
Interesting quote indeed. Do you think Tom as a kid decided to be evil
when he grew up ? I don't think so. He decided to be powerful and
immortal. Becoming evil just happened to be a means and a consequence
on the way to his real goals : power and immortality.

SSSusan wrote :
"To me it's his faulty logic which sees love as a weakness.  Most 
people either don't see it as a weakness or see it as one they're 
willing to give into because of the joys it provides.  As you note, 
Tom/Voldy apparently saw [yes, understandably] power as the more 
important "virtue" and chose to ignore love."

Del replies :
And his choice makes perfect sense to me. I made the same when I was 9
or 10. I would become the best in something, so that people would have
to admire me and nobody could look down on me (I would be Someone),
and I would never love anyone again apart from my mom and my sister
because it hurts too much when the people you love leave you or abuse
you, and because it's a burden when people love you so you have to
make sure you don't hurt them. I wanted to be STRONG above everything
else, and I rejected anything I saw as a potential weakness.
But I wasn't a fully-fledged psychopath, so I broke down after a few
months. Mind you, I got half my wish regarding love at least : you
don't feel loved anymore when you come down with depression.
But Tom was a real psychopath, and he got help from Slytherin on the
way, so I'm not surprised he never looked back on his initial choice.

Del