Parenting Harry (was: Re: I don't like him much)

[eloise_herisson]

No: HPFGUIDX 119992


Ba:
> Thanks, Kneasy!  This first hit me when Snape, in PoA, told Harry 
off 
> for sneaking into Hogsmeade, which made Harry livid; yet, when 
Lupin 
> said almost the same thing to him a moment or two later, he was 
> contrite.  As seen through Harry's filter, Snape was wrong and 
Lupin 
> was right!  This pattern has continued throughout, and it will cost 
> perhaps him, and certainly others, the same price that Sirius paid 
> when Harry "forgot" that Snape was in the Order and ran off to save 
> the world himself.

Eloise:
Although I hear Annemehr's objections to this (not quoted), it struck 
a chord in my mind.

I've mentioned before that I think Snape has a paternal attitude 
towards Harry, not in the a warm, fuzzy sense, but in the sense of 
always watching out for whan he's in danger, always intervening 
always disciplining. 

Harry doesn't have a living parent and the "parenting" he gets comes 
from different people. Molly is over-protective and indulgent (as 
others have noted this manifests itself quite differently for her 
over-protectiveness for her own children). Arthur tries to do the man-
to-man thing with him; Lupin seems to care deeply but at the same 
time stands back a little; he seems to know that Harry crosses the 
line of what is sensible, doesn't approve, but doesn't really enforce 
the discipline. Sirius, well, bless him, I don't think he has much 
idea of parental responsibility really; his is an emotional bond with 
the son of his best friend. Dumbledore is more of the wise 
grandparent, not terribly hands on most of the time (although a lot 
of this is down to Harry excluding him in the first four books which 
possibly makes his anger at Dumbledore failing to confide in *him* in 
OoP a little ironic). 

All of these really play the roles of the uncles, aunts, grandparents 
who may offer advice, may indulge, may even collude, but don't own 
the ultimate responsibility.

It's usually down to Snape to do the less palatable side of 
parenting, which is a little unfortunate, given his antipathy to his 
charge. But aside from any character defects Snape may possess, as a 
parent, I can certainly identify with the frustration and the anger 
that arises from genuinely trying to do the best for someone and 
having it either ignored or thrown back in your face. Harry's hatred 
of Snape is not unlike the hatred which normal children experience 
from time to time for their parents, especially when they are trying 
to impose limits or when they don't understand the reasons for 
decision. Snape, in his own, unsympathetic way, has been trying to do 
right by Harry for some time. Sometimes, as many parents do, he's 
made mistakes and gone over the top, but Harry has failed to realise 
or acknowledge what he's done/tried to do for him (even his saving 
his life in PS/SS).

I'm not much of a Harry fan either, I'm afraid. But then he *is* a 
teenage boy and they're not my favourite sector of humanity. They 
grow out of it eventually, I believe. I hope.

~Eloise