Parenting Harry (was: Re: I don't like him much)

[dcgmck]

No: HPFGUIDX 119996


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "eloise_herisson" 
<eloiseherisson at a...> wrote:
> 
[snip]
> Eloise:
[snip] 
> I've mentioned before that I think Snape has a paternal attitude 
> towards Harry, not in the a warm, fuzzy sense, but in the sense of 
> always watching out for whan he's in danger, always intervening 
> always disciplining. 
> 
> Harry doesn't have a living parent and the "parenting" he gets 
comes from different people. 

[truly regretted snip] 

> All of these really play the roles of the uncles, aunts, 
grandparents who may offer advice, may indulge, may even collude, but 
don't own the ultimate responsibility.
> 
> It's usually down to Snape to do the less palatable side of 
> parenting, which is a little unfortunate, given his antipathy to 
his charge. But aside from any character defects Snape may possess, 
as a parent, I can certainly identify with the frustration and the 
anger that arises from genuinely trying to do the best for someone 
and having it either ignored or thrown back in your face. Harry's 
hatred of Snape is not unlike the hatred which normal children 
experience from time to time for their parents, especially when they 
are trying to impose limits or when they don't understand the reasons 
for decision. Snape, in his own, unsympathetic way, has been trying 
to do right by Harry for some time. Sometimes, as many parents do, 
he's made mistakes and gone over the top, but Harry has failed to 
realise or acknowledge what he's done/tried to do for him (even his 
saving his life in PS/SS).
> 
[snip]

dcgmck:
I confess my initial readings bought into Harry's POV and juvenile 
assessment of Snape, but first Alan Rickman and now you have me 
reconsidering. For the purposes of the epic, Harry's defiance and 
distrust of Snape will probably prove warranted in the long run, but 
from a RL perspective it is also easy to see Snape as a well-
intentioned disciplinarian who has not had first-hand experience with 
the leavening effects of 24/7 parenting of his very own offspring, 
whether because he doesn't live with them or because he doesn't have 
any. One who has not had the opportunity and need to offer 
consolation or comfort to an inconsolable child facing real or 
imagined fears at all hours is more inclined to believe that the 
world can and should be lived in living shades of black and white.