One last try (re: Parenting Harry (was: Re: I don't like him much))

[Renee]

No: HPFGUIDX 120219


--- In HPforGrownups at yahoogroups.com, "dumbledore11214" 
<dumbledore11214 at y...> wrote:
> 
>> Eloise:
> 
> So a parent who is a bad parent, who is harsh or sadistic towards 
> their child is not, by definition, a parent? There are a lot of 
bad 
> parents around who treat their offspring far worse than Snape 
treats 
> Harry. 
> 
> Alla:
> 
> I think that is beyond the point, actually. If there are parents 
who 
> treat their children worse and I know there are, it does not make 
> Snape to be the good one, IMO.
> 
> If you determine Snape's function as  "BAD PARENT", then I will 
> concede to that, but not just a parent, not to me.
> 
> 
> > Eloise:
> 
> My hypothesis was that Harry doesn't have a parent, therefore the 
> parenting roles are split between various people, not necessarily 
> done well, but done to some extent.
>  
> Perhaps I'm wrong, then, and Harry isn't being parented at all.
> 
> 
> Alla:
> 
> It is not my place to decide whether you are wrong, but no, I 
don't 
> think Harry is being parented by Snape.
> 
> Dumbledore, Minerva, Molly, Sirius, Lupin - all of those people I 
can 
> call Harry's parents, who screwed up badly at one point , but who 
had 
> Harry's best interests in mind and who (which I think parent 
should 
> have) love Harry.
> 
> Sorry, but I don't think Snape can be called one.

Renee:
But none of these characters can be called a parent in the true 
sense of the word. None of them are to Harry what a real parent 
would have been, and what the Dursleys should have been but dismally 
failed to be. Parenthood is a many-faceted reality involving many 
different roles, not only at different stages of a child's 
developments but even at different moments of the day in different 
situations. One of these many aspects is disciplining the child if 
necessary. All parents (have to) do this occasionally. No child 
likes it, but sometimes parents just have to draw the line - and 
suffer the sometimes very vocal disapproval of their children, to 
put it mildly. 

Being unpleasant on occasion is part and parcel of parenthood. But 
if you isolate this aspect from the rest of the complex, you get a 
caricature of a parent, or even a monster. A kind of Snape. (And to 
make it worse, Snape fails in this disciplinary role because of his 
negative personal feelings towards Harry, but that is not what this 
is about.) 

And this is probably where the miscommunication arises, because here 
we're exchanging the level of the storyline, the history of what 
happened to one Harry Potter, for the level of the narrative and the 
techniques used to make the plot work and bring about the desired 
effects. In a previous post, Eloise called Snape a plot device - and 
this was the moment when it finally dawned on me. Snape has been 
given the ungrateful task of making disobedience and resistance on 
Harry's part possible. Harry *must* learn a modicum of discipline, 
or he won't be able to do what he has to do, but without the 
possibility of disobedience and rule-breaking, discipline has no 
meaning. Giving it meaning takes someone who has both the authority 
and the will to punish Harry for breaking the rules. Normally, a 
parent would play this role, but Harry has no parents. So Snape is 
cast in the role of disciplinarian. 

In a way, Snape *is* the `bad parent', disguised as a teacher - just 
as in many fairy-tales the `bad mother' (= every mother's necessary 
unpleasant side) is disguised as the evil stepmother. 

Renee