FILK: Thing!

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 90826

This is a filk which proves that even dementors are infinitely less 
terrifying when they can't sing in tune

Thing!

To the tune of Sing! From A Chorus Line

Dedicated to Pixieberry

Hear a MIDI at:

http://members.tripod.com/~Point202/AChorusLine/song11.mid

THE SCENE: Undisclosed. Enter FIRST and SECOND DEMENTOR. 

FIRST DEMENTOR
See, I'm such an evil thing
Harry finds me alarming
`Cause I'm highly depress-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Sing!

FIRST DEMENTOR
You're in trouble when I- 

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Glide!

FIRST DEMENTOR
For my horror's bona-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Fide!

FIRST DEMENTOR
I'm a terrifying-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Thing!

FIRST DEMENTOR
When I worked at Azkaban
I did a job that was quite-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Vital!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Every woman and each man
Under my guard turned sui-

SECOND DEMENTOR:
-cidal!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Now the prison we have-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Quit!

FIRST DEMENTOR
We are chomping at the-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Bit!

FIRST DEMENTOR
To devour all their -

SECOND DEMENTOR
Souls!

FIRST DEMENTOR
If you look upon our-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Face!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Human features there's no-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Trace!

FIRST DEMENTOR
There is just a gaping-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Hole!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Oh, I know our rattling breathing's really-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Frightening

FIRST DEMENTOR
For our hands are both rot-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ting!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Joys our foes are forgot-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ting!

FIRST DEMENTOR
For I'm such an vile

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Thing!
We're blind geists-

FIRST DEMENTOR
We're blind geists-
We don't do that vision-thing!

SECOND DEMENTOR
Must remember this!
Strangle spells, strangle spells

FIRST DEMENTOR
Strangle spells, strangle spells
With Voldy we're aligned!

SECOND DEMENTOR
Kiss still a kiss!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Because we're 12 feet high
We're sure to over-

SECOND DEMENTOR
Power

FIRST DEMENTOR
And though our foes cry
I can force them all to cower
But, I'm stealthy as a-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Cat!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Though I'm blinder than a-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Bat!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Had a Magus on my-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ward!

FIRST DEMENTOR
When changing to a ca-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Nine!

FIRST DEMENTOR
We could never make him-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Whine!

FIRST DEMENTOR
He was only very -

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Bored!

FIRST DEMENTOR
But when Lupin came
And taught Harry to-

CHORUS OF PATRONI (off-stage)
-Patronum-

FIRST DEMENTOR
It is so embaras-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Sing!

FIRST DEMENTOR
It is so embitter-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ring!

FIRST DEMENTOR
It is so empoison-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ning!

FIRST DEMENTOR
When we're wrong empirical


SECOND DEMENTOR
-Ly!

FIRST DEMENTOR
Though I am an evil-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Thing!

FIRST DEMENTOR
I could never really-

SECOND DEMENTOR
-Sting!

FIRST DEMENTOR
What I couldn't do was-

CHORUS OF PATRONI
Ex pec to Pa tro num and so 
Ex pec to Pa tro num and so

Take!

FIRST & SECOND DEMENTOR
Take!

CHORUS OF PATRONI
Take!

FIRST & SECOND DEMENTOR
Take!

CHORUS OF PATRONI
Wing, wing, wing
Wing, wing, wing-

FIRST & SECOND DEMENTOR
TAKE!

ALL:
WING!

(Exit CHORUS OF DEMENTORS pursued by CHORUS OF PATRONI)

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm