FILK: A Hate Worse Than Ugly Trolls

[Caius Marcius]

No: HPFGUIDX 88677

A Hate Worse Than Ugly Trolls (OOP, Chap. 33)

To the tune of The Love From A Heart of Gold from Frank Loesser's How 
to Succeed in Business Without Even Trying 

Dedicated to Tracy Hunt

THE SCENE: The Forbidden Forest. On a deluded quest for Dumbledore's 
alleged secret weapon, UMBRIDGE is accosted by a herd of angry 
centaurs. She responds with her characteristic tact.


UMBRIDGE:
How can I drive off centaurs
Whom I hate worse than ugly trolls?
They're disgusting half-breeds
And in forests trespassers  
Yay or Neigh,
Colt or foal 

Brains far beneath the human
Mobbing beasts who lack any soul,
Oh, why can't they see I'm consumin' with fumin'
And hate worse that ugly trolls?

BANE (spoken):
I never knew you felt that way!

UMBRIDGE (spoken):
Few people know this, but I'm extremely bigoted. 

BANE (spoken):
Oh, horsefeathers, so am I!

(music)
Here we found this human,
Whom we hate worse than ugly trolls
Always blaming our kind 
But with little acumen,
In the hole...

MAGORIAN:
In the hole...
With each foal


BANE:
With each foal

When you tick off a centaur
You will see how we lose control
Though she wants to go free we're now here to prevent her

BANE & MAGORIAN:
With hate worse than ugly trolls
..

(The Centaurs grab UMBRIDGE and carry her off – her screams gradually 
fade in the distance.)

   -	CMC

HARRY POTTER FILKS 
http://home.att.net/~coriolan/hpfilks.htm 

Coming soon: The Aberforth rendition of this song, "The Love of a 
Hearty Goat"