FILK: OWL Tests at Hogwarts

[Iggy McSnurd]

No: HPFGUIDX 88861

Iggy de-cloaking:

Hi all.  Got a wild notion crawling around in my head today... I'm not
really sure where it came from... but I ended up being inspired to write
this Filk.  Hope it meets everyone's approval.

(And yes, CM, that standing OK for my filks is still in effect.)

Iggy McSnurd
(*disappears with a swish of his invisibility cloak, leaving behind only
a scroll bearing some song lyrics*)


OWL Tests at Hogwarts 
(to the tune of "One Night in Bangkok" from the musical "Chess")

Hermione:
Hogwarts, scholastic setting.
And the students don't know what grades they're getting
The hardest of the tests for the fifth years in a
Week with every quiz but a blood test.

Time flies - - doesn't seem a minute
Since the Great Hall last has testers in it.
All stress - - don't you know that when you
Test at this level, it's no ordinary revue.

It's potions - - or transfiguring - - or charms - - or - - or this test?

Students:
Take OWLs at Hogwarts and your brain's a pudding
Your eyes are sandy, you can barely see
You'd know the answers if you can just keep thinking
And if you're lucky you don't get a "D"
Though that's still better than a "T"

Hermione:
One test's very like another
When your head's down over your paper, brother.

Students:
It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a bitch
Taking all of these tests, and not playing Quidditch.

Hermione:
Whaddaya mean?  Didn't I just take this test??

Students:
Butter beer, warm, sweet
Drink up since it's hours 'til we eat.

Hermione:
Get stuffed!  You're talking to the student
Who's every choice is the most prudent.
I study during all my free time, sunshine.

Students:
OWL tests at Hogwarts makes the proud man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
OWL tests at Hogwarts and even smart guys crumble
Can't be too careful with fellow test-ees
I can see Goyle trying to copy me.

Hermione:
This hall's gonna be the witness
To the fifth year's test of cerebral fitness
These tests grip me more than any
Tri-Wizard or World Cup tourney

And thank God I'm finishing my test - - completing it - -

I don't see you guys grading
The kind of test I'm contemplating
I'd let you try, I would invite you
But the spells we use are quite beyond you

So you'd better stay away from the DA, our secret room, the Ministry.

Students:
Take OWLs at Hogwarts and your brain's a pudding
Your eyes are sandy, you can barely see
You'd know the answers if you can just keep thinking
And if you're lucky you don't get a "D"
Though that's still better than a "T"

OWL tests at Hogwarts makes the proud man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
OWL tests at Hogwarts and even smart guys crumble
Can't be too careful with fellow test-ees
I can see Goyle trying to copy me.