the worst filk ever... or the best filk ever.

[Jonathan Pessin]

No: HPFGUIDX 90005

with apologies to Billy Joel... the song (and the chorus) came to me out
of a typo, and grew like a weed in my mind. 

Potter Man (to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel) 

It's time for the fans of the Potterverse, 
Who debate over every small thing, 
To decide who's the one to give Potter some fun 
And perhaps end up wearing his ring. 

We say, "Son, since you're fighting Lord Thingummy, 
We'll give you a bit of a wait, 
But the time soon will be when fans all want to see 
Who you're gonna take out on a date!" 

La la la, de de da 
La la, de de da da dum 

Chorus: 
Give us a snog, you're the Potter man, 
Give us a snog tonight! 
Well, we're all in the mood for "astronomy" 
Even though it's 2:30 at night! 

Now Hermione there is a friend of his, 
Has been since they defeated a troll, 
And he saw at the ball she's not ugly at all, 
So perhaps they can go on a roll? 

But then, Ron might have something to say 'bout that, 
If his friend and the gal had a fling, 
Cause we know he'll be asking her out sometime, 
Once he gives up that whole "Vicky" thing. 

Oh, la la la, de de da 
La la, de de da da dum 

Chorus 
Give us a snog, you're the Potter man, 
Give us a snog tonight! 
Well, we're all in the mood for "astronomy" 
Even though it's 2:30 at night! 

Now Luna's a Ravenclaw oddity, 
Who hears voices when nobody's there, 
Oh, and sometimes it seems she's the gal of his dreams, 
So perhaps those two might be a pair? 

But then sometimes she goes a bit overboard, 
With her oddness and gaze of surprise, 
So I don't think that Potter would go for it, 
And besides, she might like other guys. 

Oh, la la la, de de da 
La la, de de da da dum 

Chorus 
Give us a snog, you're the Potter man, 
Give us a snog tonight! 
Well, we're all in the mood for "astronomy" 
Even though it's 2:30 at night! 

So theres lots of nice lasses at Hogwarts, 
Those we've mentioned, and some we have not, 
And we safely assume it'll be someones doom 
To take Potter's hand and tie the knot 

So whose luck will turn out to be luckiest? 
We'll find out on some long-waited day, 
But with ol' JKR guesses don't go that far... 
Even if Harry won't turn out gay! 

Oh, la la la, de de da 
La la, de de da da dum 

Chorus: 
Give us a snog, you're the Potter man, 
Give us a snog tonight! 
Well, we're all in the mood for "astronomy"
Even though its 2:30 at night! 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You haven't been getting into the Gaffer's home brew again, have
you?"
"No... Well, yes, but that's beside the point."
-Frodo and Bilbo Baggins, Fellowship of the Rings Extended Edition DVD